Come dance with me

Goodbye

2009-01-15T11:58:00.003+08:00

I have moved to

http://asnatureintended.wordpress.com

Relink if you want to. No pressure.

decisions, decisions

2009-01-14T16:29:00.003+08:00

Thank god I didn't submit the JAE thing yet.

I know I've always been crazy about cjc but now I realised that sajc is not a bad first option. It's quite convinient, in the sense that i've got a direct bus there and according to a friend, the culture seemed better than cjc's.

Anywho, I went for their open house today just for a look-see and was blown away. Did i mention that for a minute there i thought i was lost in Potong Pasir? I spotted St Andrew's junior school but had to scour the place to find the Junior college, which *grins* i successfully did.

Firstly, there was natural light entering the building, not like some depressing dim housed-up school.(which according to some, is like ajc) I know its dumb, but I believe the amount of natural light entering the school is very important. If not i'll die out of claustrophobia. Don't ask me how light is related to it. So yea, I didn't expect company but then gwen, a church friend , told me she was going for the open house too. So we were given a tour around the place. And gosh, school ends at 12.45 everyday unless there're extra classes or cca. awesome.

So i've settled for the arts course because honestly, i cannot imagine securing a science-related job. H2 lit is a must, as well as H2 math. But the other arts subject i'm not sure, maybe economics or geography. History, i've decided, I'll read on the sidelines. The h1 science would of course be biology.

And if, god forbid, I don't get sajc, hopefully i'll get into cjc.

Notice how the choosing of jcs has consumed me. Ah, I can't wait for all of this to be over.

Results day

2009-01-13T10:27:00.002+08:00

Yesterday's results presentation was nerve-wrecking.

But in a few minutes I was relieved to find that all my hours spent studying like crazy was worthwhile. Though i felt I could've done better for Eng and bio, i'm still satisfied with 11 pts. But it'll be 9 if i minus off cca, and i called CJC and they said that I stood a higher chance getting in if I put them as first choice. So duh, I did.

I initially wanted the arts stream but later i realised that I haven't had much practice in the arts thanks to my two years of taking triple science. I'm keen on history, but what if I realise that i suck in it? Then it'll be too late to go back. So I put cjc science as my first choice. Came across a couple of church friends who had cjc in mind, so I may not be alone afterall! And plus, surely they'll be some of my CHIJ pri sch friends there. I really hope I get in.

I absolutely love mdm yeo. Without her shoe stealing and random fan-offing I probably wouldn't have gotten a distinction for a maths! Imagine, from an F9 to an A2. And it's all thanks too my quirky yet dedicated maths teacher.

The new school is huge. So not fair.

Another missed open house. great.

2009-01-09T11:53:00.004+08:00

God, am I the only one not going for open houses here?

I feel so unprepared, so annihilated, so deaf.

Great, guess what? CJC's having an open house today. Can my life get any worse? While everybody's running around and discovering my hopefully-and-possibly-future-school, I'm stuck here being deaf. That's the only institution I've dreamt of going to, though i have other JCs in mind, and this has to happen to me. Now. Why oh why oh why. Nevermind. My mum was in that school. Worse comes to worst, I'll just get my mum to give me the tour. Heh. Ah crap, who am I kidding?

I guess I've got one thing to be glad about, I finished reading The Diary of Anne Frank. Like, finally. I tried, oh so many times to finish it, but I'll either get bored of the the monotony of it all, or I'll take so long that in the end I'll lose my bookmark and forget what page I was on. Then, I would conviniently make no effort to scour the book. With all due respect (of the dead), she's a remarkable writer in her own right, although her daily musings tend to get a little mundane at times. And oh, what a waste, she mentioned alot of places in Holland which I saw! (Ok fine, maybe I only saw the signboards of those places) I swear, the next time I go there, I'm gonna visit the Secret Annexe. Anne Frank had so much of talent, if only she was given an oppourtunity to be free, of the Annexe, I mean. Her diary was left in the possesion of her father. It must've been painful for him to read about all Anne's opinions of his short-comings. And get this, all the time Anne Frank was worried that she would never become a published author!

Speaking of talent, I chanced upon the blog of a junior at BBSS and was so blown away by her talent in writing! She showed such maturity that you would never have thought the blog belonged to a 15 yr old! Mr Latiff did mention something about her being the best there is in his lit class, and now I know why. Amazing stuff.

***

I created a pet on this Pet Society thing on Facebook out of curiousity, and also because a friend recommended it, and now I feel like killing it. Seriously, it's an online-animation. They don't really eat. God know's they don't even speak. And now what, you expect me to care for a cartoon? I've tried it for 2 days, and now i'm bored out of my wits. I supposed to 'visit' other dead, lifeless, animations for fake, illegitimate coins? Oh, and be happy? Isn't it something like a 'neopet'? Maybe i'm bitter because i don't have much fake, illegitimate coins, and omg, have you seen the prices of the things there? Sheesh. Yes, a literally broke owner talking here.

Uma, you'll be glad to know that i'm starting on 'A Thousand Splendid Suns'! I only read the first chapter and i'm hooked!

Ok then, until I find something trivial to blow up into a post this long,

Adieu.

The sound of silence

2009-01-07T12:12:00.004+08:00

I feel deaf.

Had some ear problems, and the doctor prescribed some ear drops and after applying them, my ears became blocked. I was down at first, i mean, who wouldn't be? But its only temporary. The doctor said he'll flush out the hindrances to my hearing sometime next week. he also said that clogged-ears are not uncommon now, though many people don't feel the need to seek treatment. Lucky me, i guess. You know, i read somewhere that using a cotton bud to remove earwax is more of a hindrance than a help because it pushes the earwax in? Just some disgusting trivial fun fact you wouldn't want to know. Heh.

Anyway, the feeling of deafness is horrid. Imagine clicking on the mouse and not being able to hear it 'click'. Imagine showering and hearing the sound of the water trickling down your head being amplified a gazillion times so much so you can't hear your surroundings anymore. imagine hearing your constant breathing constantly being a constant echo in your constantly blank head. Scaary. It's been a day since i've been like this and I must say, its quite an experience. I've been having ear problems since i was a kid, but it was usually never two ears at once. I even had to turn down Farah's invitation to go to Marina Square today because i felt unbelievably uncomfortable. In fact, i had wanted to go to Borders today, but that was when one of my ears were blocked. I soon realised that it was much harder to cope with two.

But it'll soon pass. I really treasure my sense of hearing now. The silence is killing me. There's just to much of it. And sometimes it gets so blocked that I involuntarily tear. Imagine going out in this state. People'll think i'm some emotional loony. Hopefully i'll have my hearing back before the 12th. (provided the results are out then, I haven't had any concrete evidence as yet) I think I should pick up sign laguage. Imagine if some accident leaves you deaf (touch wood), how would you cope? Ah, maybe its my calling- to help the deaf. Not help, per se, but don't you think the world would be a lot better if we all understood them? Scientists predict that at the rate we're going, the majority of humanity will be deaf by 2030++. And yes, somehow I have a niche in remembering things to do with our auditory future.

Like the new picture? Don't know why i was so attracted to it, so i changed the whole layout to match it. hah. Ok then, gotta go keep Anne Frank company. She makes me feel alot better about my situation, bless her soul.

Adieu.

The Power of Now- Eckhart Tolle

2009-01-05T17:19:00.006+08:00

I was reading the abovementioned book, and this part struck me:

What you think of the past is a memory trace, of a former Now. When you
remember the past, you reactivate the memory trace- and you do so now. The
future is an imagined Now, a projection of the mind. When the future comes,it
comes as the Now. When you think about the future, you do it now. Past and
future obviously have no reality of their own. Just as the moon has no light of
its own, but can only reflect the light of the sun, so are past and future only
pale reflections of the light, power and reality of the present.Their reality is
'borrowed' from the Now.

Simply put, don't dwell in the past and future.

And if you pay attention to your thoughts, you'd realise that most of it is about the past, or the future. (For those getting the results- ALL about the future) But this book emphasises the need to always be in the present and think of the present. To stop and smell, really smell the roses. To savour everything around you now. I never was into all these spirituality stuff, especially books. But i decided to pick this one up (because Oprah Winfrey said so) and I've never regretted it. He is an amazing author, though you have to read his books with an open mind because there are certain aspects of religion included.

So, with that in mind, I've decided not to worry about my 'o' level results. An unfathomable feat given this period of time but yes, I will do just that. (Friends, to me a favour and slap me if you see me panicking on that day,thanks.) But i have to admit, the gitters would be hard to control. So the 12th of january it is then, thanks to uma's unidentified source and marissa's impeccable cross-referencing.

With nothing else left to say, i shall end with a feel-good picture (for me, anyways)

Adieu.

I hate this part right here

2009-01-04T11:45:00.003+08:00

I can't take it any longer
Thought that we were stronger
All we do is linger
Slipping through our fingers
I don't wanna try now
All that's lefts good-bye
To find a way that I can tell you
I hate this part right here..

Honestly, the Pussycat Dolls should be renamed: Nicole Scherzinger and the unknown dancing mannequins or, NSATUDM. I don't know about you, but I can hardly recognise them.. the back-ups, i mean.

Finally i've got A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hoseini. I love tales about the middle east. Can't wait to start. I've got a whole line of books waiting to be picked up.

Heard the results are coming out on the 12th? for real?

I'm tired of my tagboard screwing up so if you don't see it there then tag at the bottom of the post if you want to.

Farewell 2008

2008-12-31T13:07:00.006+08:00

Its the last day of 2008. Sad.

If there was something like a 'favourite year', this would be it. I've learnt so many about myself and others this year- i think i've evolved most this year, and i feel it too.

2009 would definitely be a hell of a whirlwind. Results, new school, new friends, new teachers. I wish things would stay the same. Just, remain stagnant.

It's something like this:

A long tunnel which we know no end to.

Or on a positive note:

I don't know what it represents, but doesn't it make you feel light?

With a new year comes new resolutions!

1. Let my dreams, not reality, guide the path of my life
2. To not doubt or worry about any action I make.
3. Love my weight and its fluctuations.
4. Be more outgoing and speak my mind even if people don't want to hear
it.
5.To not cringe when i see a picture of myself / deal with the fact that i'm
not photogenic
6. To always, ALWAYS see the cup as half full
7. Lastly, to remember this set of resolutions at the end of 2009.

Happy New Year all!

In my dreams

2008-12-30T10:14:00.003+08:00

The stage is set;

curtain call.

In my dreams

I've seen it all.

Microphone checked;

crowds cheer.

In my dreams

everyone hears.

Guitars sound

lights go down

In my dreams..

I perform.

Pictures from Holland

2008-12-26T13:17:00.021+08:00

Okay, here they are! well, 30% of it..

On the plane..

getting bullied..

this is how autumn is like

Reliving my childhood

on the way to amsterdam

Tanesha's grandmother

and grandfather

a tired tanesha

putting on lots of lip balm (and my sis eating like there's no tomorrow)

some 'FRIENDS' cafe

Blowing out the cool vapour.

SNOW!

My aunt

Tanesha on her b'day

Hail stones!

More snow!

Okay, that's all for now! Happy?

Christmas once again!

2008-12-26T11:01:00.004+08:00

I don't know why, but Christmas this year seemed really different as compared to last year's. Everyone was falling ill. But for me, i don't know what dampened my mood. But i did enjoy the company and food :)

I'm beginning to find blogging a chore. And that's never happened to me. Oh wait, I know why.. my life is pretty much BORING. *wails* I MISS SCHOOL!! I MISS MDM YEO!

When i go to other people's blog, i realised that most of their blogs, like mine, are stagnant. Funny, i always try to keep myself occupied and when i do see something quirky i'll think ' oh, i have GOT to blog about this'. But when I come home i'll drag my feet to the computer, open the blogger page and think 'what was it i wanted to blog about again?'. And i'll end up staring blankly at the posting page. The cycle repeats itself almost everytime i go online. I would upload the pictures, if only my dad settled his camera problem.

i tell you, deviantart.com is a godsend.

Merry Christmas to those whom I have not wished and are reading this post.

Caution: Emo-ness ahead

2008-12-16T20:38:00.003+08:00

Life hasn't really sunk in until now.

Everyone's busy.

Every time when I'm alone I wish I had an older sister, or an older cousin- somebody I can look up to. Somebody around my age group. I do have my aunts whom I've grown so close to through the years, and I'm grateful for that. But there's so much you can talk to to a couple of adults who have their children on their mind. They are all on a different emotional level than I am. Don't get me wrong, i'm happy with my life and no, I'm not suicidal. But sometimes I tend to wonder what it would be like to grow up with an older relative. Almost everyone has it, and take it for granted.

Don't ask me how that was related to anything, i just needed to get it off my chest.

I really wanna meet up with the Tikilulu Tribe, all of us together. But, I understand if you guys are preoccupied with your jobs and have spoilt handphones. I only wish we could go out as often as we had planned before the 'o's. Nevermind, let me know when you guys are free, if you're reading this at all.

God, there's too much negativity here, blame it on the PMSes.

Bye

I'm back!

2008-12-10T15:05:00.003+08:00

Finally.. HOME.

As i try to wipe the jet-laggedness out of my heavily dark-circled eyes, I recall the trip I've just made to Holland. It was an enriching experience, no doubt, but I'm just so glad to be home. I guess it really is true, there's no place like Singapore. The only thing I think Singapore is lacking in is the four seasons, which wouldn't be a problem when technology improves and scientists and engineers and meterologists can work together to create a mega dome of ice around our humble country during christmas time. Piece of cake.

But seriously now, the cultures there and the cultures here are worlds apart. (No worse, a bloody 13 hour-muscle-numbing-flight difference) From what i've seen so far, and mind you it's not much, but I think it's fair to conclude that born and bred Europeans are as cold as their country is. Haha. I know it's mean but sorry, the truth hurts. They really treasure their privacy, and tend to be more self-centered, unlike us asians. I mean, if you're born into it then you wouldn't need much getting used to. But when you're not, you'll tend to love your country and its torturous education system more. (don't know the connection for the latter though. ha-ha)

But it is true, European countries are more historically enriching, and they are really proud of their history. I wish Singapore had let all the buildings be. Think unpainted HDB houses with mould growing at its side. Wait, I take that wish back.

Holland was more of an open country, although they don't allow ownership of guns. Htet, you'll be happy to know that movies do not go censored there. No one flinches at the sight of the female breasts and they even occur in advertisements and movies shown at 8 pm where most kids are awake. They even sell traumatising keychains of the male genitals in a SOUVINIER SHOP. Did i mention that they are ever-so-proud of their red-light district? Here you'd think that western countries were a paradise to men, and then you wonder why the hell sick perverted men come to asia to exploit its women. And then you'd reason it out: men are a sick, greedy bunch.

I'm glad i've experienced the openess of a country. It was definitely eye-opening , but i've learnt aa thing or two. In the end of it all, there is really no place like home. Asia. Singapore.

And now that i'm home, I've got to figure out how to keep myself sane and occupied. hmmm... any suggestions?

Sinter Klass

2008-12-05T20:24:00.002+08:00

Today's the 5th of December and in Holland, they celebrate somewhat of a Christmas, 'SinterKlass'. I looked it up on Wikipedia and found out that it is a celebration of the name day of saint nicholas- the old, hairy, oversized individual we mortals have come to know as Santa Claus.

It's usually celebrated in Holland, Belgium and certain parts of Europe. Cool, huh?

Oh, and in the picture you'll find *tries to find appropriate terminology* 3, very tanned elf-like beings. Well, they are. They're called 'Zwarte Piet' (swa-ter peeds). Did a search on wikipedia and guess what? they directly translate to 'Black Pete'.

When I first arrived here, they were promoting Sinterklass everywhere. Posters of Santa Claus and his 'helpers' were everywhere and there well many dolls of them Zwarte Piets. My first thoughts were 'racist b@@$#!ds" but then i was told that it was the culture here. Honestly, it took some getting used to. I mean, can't the Zwarte Piets be of a variety of colours? And all the people dressed as Zwarte Piets coloured themselves black and wore black gloves. Now, i'm proud to say, I'VE GOTTEN OVER IT. Can't say the same for my sister though, she still complains under her breath. To think of it, it does add a little colour...

Ok, guess i gotta go now. Again, on a time limit.

Adieu.

2008-12-02T19:48:00.003+08:00

the above is a video of the architecture in amsterdam. We took lots of pictures but its all in my dad's camera so i'll upload it some other time.

I'm on a time limit here so i'll post and upload more some other time.

Germany

2008-11-25T19:26:00.006+08:00

Heyheyhey!

Went to Germany- a mall called centrO. It was just like a vivocity, only that it was full of white people. With it being a mall, there was nothing amazingly oustanding to take a picture of, take a trip down to vivocity and you'll see the same things.

But there was something outstanding- all the beautiful people! All of them have beautiful eyes! And oh, did i mention the gazillion and one hot guys? They're all so model-like *drools*
most of the main pics are on my dad's camera, so here are the few pictures i got:

The beautiful snow-filled trees on the way to Germany:

My sis , my mum and me in a cafe. (Note the life-jacketlike jacket I have on)

My very bored sister:

And here's my cousin- tanesha! ain't she the cutest thing? Hot German guy #1001 is the headless one. (dang, i thought i got his face)

that's all for now,

Buhbye!

It's freezing and I look like a fat snowman

2008-11-22T16:10:00.003+08:00

Hey all!

I think i'm getting used to the timing here, thankfully. But its still really cold here, and it just snowed in the morning! The snow was exactly like the ice shavings of our ice-kachang- oh how i miss ice kacang..

Anyway, yeah, and there wee patterns on each snowflake! how cool is that? And i was told that it's not winter yet, just autumn.

Yesterday I had turkish food, something called a kebab, in a Dutch shopping centre. Don't ask me the name of the shop, for the life of me I can never remember the names of the shops. Or the places.Or the people. The language is hilarious. That's one language i'll never pick up.. i'll be too busy laughing at it. Seriously, the people here take pride in their language. It's their national language and get this; you can never find English newspapers here.. and in Dutch. I mean, c'mon.. even Thailand has english newspapers and that's not even their national language, at least I think so. Ok fine, failed comparison there.

I'll be going up to Germany today! Will post more about it later!

Scenery in holland

2008-11-22T02:14:00.013+08:00

My sis and me...shivering.

The inside of a church built during the roman times
...and the outside...
a windmill..
my mum and sis..
the view of Uterecht (you-ther-reck)
outside my aunt's hse

the beautiful bare trees

the ducks outside my aunt's house:

It hailed today! Will post more pictures of it...

helooo from holland!

2008-11-20T23:13:00.002+08:00

I've reached Holland!

And boy is it really, really cold. The ambience here is totally different, maybe because the architecture is totally different. There are not many coloured buildings, all of them are bricked. What's really funny is that you can't tell the difference between supermarkets and houses. People mostly cycle here, so it seems to be pretty laid back. People here are more health conscious, because the supermarkets sell mostly healthy food- the healthier the food, the cheaper the price.

I wanted to upload pictures but apparently couldn't, for some reason.

The flight was tedious and torturous and unbearingly chilly.

I'm feeling jet-lagged now, so i'll update sometime later..

doei!

(that's bye in dutch)

Melanie C- Northern Star

2008-11-19T11:01:00.002+08:00

A song worth listening to:

They tried to catch a falling star.
Thinking that she had gone too far.
She did but kept it hidden well.
Until she cracked and then she fell.

If all the history is true.
She's gonna end up just like you.
You made it to the other side.
But tell me who will be my guide.

They build you up so they can tear you down.
Trust the ocean you'll never drown.
Who is next? Who's gonna steal your crown?
You'll see.

I have learnt my lesson well.
The truth is out there I can tell.
Don't look back and don't give in to their lies and goodbyes.
Northern Star.

Fulfil the longing in your heart.
Then we will never be apart.
And if they dare to question you.
Just tell them that our love is true.

They buy your dreams so they can sell your soul.
Is it any wonder we've lost control?
Feelings come, feelings go.

I have learnt my lesson well.
The truth is out there I can tell.
Don't look back and don't succumb to their lies and goodbyes.
Live your life without regret.
Don't be someone who they forget.
When you're lost reach out for me.
And you'll see she's not far.
Northern Star.

Graduation Nite

2008-11-18T17:30:00.008+08:00

Ever wondered why it's spelt as 'nite' and not 'night'? hmmm...

AAAnyway,

I have graduated from secondary school!

wow, four years gone; just like that. We're now alumni of BBSS. Pretty hard to believe.

Yesterday's prom was awesome. I couldn't recognise some people there, we all actually looked like mature adults, well most of us at least. I managed to get the contacts in! But, I couldn't get it out by myself. Pathetic, I know. Eventually those devilish pieces of plastic did come out, thanks to my hero, UMA. Htet helped too.. to quell my unstable eye which seemed to have a life of its own.

The performances were great. I think the night was rather lively because of the host. Tho' I was pretty annoyed at the different dialects and accents he over-used. I mean, we all sat for the English O level paper, so aren't we capable of understanding english? I don't know, just found it a tad bit demeaning.

Congrats to Pei Jun and Purple-haired-dude for winning the title of prom queen and king respectively! I loved the dress she wore, but him? Guess he was suave..maybe.

I'M GOING TO HOLLAND TOMORROW!!!!

It's a night flight so I'll probably be busy the whole day. But, I'll blog if I find the time, and will email the Tikilulu Tribe when I'm there. Man, i'll miss all of you guys.

Oh yeah, please please pleaaase email me the prom pictures!

Here's some random pictures of me and Leo..

He has a huge butt

... and smells horrible

but I love him anyway..(yes, you can see my mum rubbing her nose)

Ain't he the cutest thing?I know I looked retarded in the pictures, but I don't care. I look retarded naturally; its a gift- a talent.

Ok then,

BUHBYE.

Veni, vidi, vici

2008-11-15T12:49:00.002+08:00

Yeahhhhh! The 'o's are finally oooooverr! Ok, that was like, 2 days ago. But anyways, the sense of liberation seems pretty overwhelming.

Went to bugis with the girls yesterday, and had a hell of a fun time. Watched Madagascar 2. It was hilarious. Funny, they gave the movie a pathetic 2 stars in the newspaper. The reviewer must have had no sense of humour, probably because he had deprived childhood. Ahh, reviewers are like that; blase, jaded zombies who get paid to highlight every (seemingly) negative aspect of the movie.

Then we went to bugis street to do some last minute shopping for prom. I bought a bag, necklace and earrings- which were going for a whopping $10 for 8 pairs!

I bought contact lenses and am still trying to stick them in. It's rather unsettling knowing that you're going to put a piece of plastic in your eye. Well, I'll have to learn before prom- which is like 2 days away. Oh god help me.

Oh, and if you're curious about the title, it means, "I came, I saw, I conquered" in Latin, and was used by Julius Caesar. I think it aptly descibes our secondary school experience. Ah, the sense of achievement seems so rewarding right now. That is, until the results come out...

The man in the car

2008-11-10T17:44:00.002+08:00

Queer.

Today I saw a man in car. He seemed filthy rich, with his Rolex-clad hand gripping the steering wheel of his shiny BMW car. His Dolce and Gabbana sunglasses rested on the dashboard of his car. Anyone who passed him by would think that he was contented with his life. But he wasn't. He was distracted. He was staring at the traffic light, but not looking at it. The light turned green and although he was in front, his was the last car to move. Honks of the cars behind him had to jerk him back to reality.

It may be a small everyday incident, but it made me realise that the riches doesn't make a person, it is the person who makes the riches. You can be the richest man on earth and the hollow-est man on earth at the same time. After making so much of money there would come a time where you wonder where your life had gone to- after all those years of toiling at your job, its the only thing you would know how to do. Is that life one worth living? And besides, you're working for things, things that don't even follow you to your grave.

It also made me realise that everyday problems makes a person human. Because, at the end of it all, we have to learn to grow- to learn from our mistakes and better ourselves. It doesn't matter the background, problems will still be there. It's just how we deal with it or view it that matters...

I changed my blogskin again, and took it down a notch. I don't know about you, but after a while I get sick of fanciful pictures and those oh-so-puny fonts you can find on blogskins.com. So I decided to go minimalistic.

2 more days to the end of what we've been preparing for for four years....

Adieu.

OBAMA IS PRESIDENT!

2008-11-05T16:40:00.002+08:00

BARACK OBAMA WON!
Like yaay! I can proudly tell my parents that my boyfriend's the president of the United States. IN YOUR FACE YOU GREY-HAIRED GROUCH (refering to mccain, nt my parents)

Aaaanyway, The 'o's are not over yet (and yes i broke my hiatus again) but i feel too liberated to study anymore. Just lit and the paper 1s to go. I mean, besides lit, how hard can shading the answers be? I think I should just shut up because unlike other normal people, the mcq paper is my worst paper. I think four possible answers is too much for my brain to handle. I know what you thinking, 'what a loser'.

I was just browsing thru youtube and i swear, Selena Gomez and Demi Lovato can be such attention-seeking bimbos. But I do have to admit, demi lovato is a pretty good singer. Can't say the same for selena tho'. Ah well, they're rich and famous now, so who cares if they can't sing, or act, or hold intellectual conversations?

Such randomness- that's what goes on in the head of someone who can't really think of anything else to say.

So,
Adieu.

Beyonce- If I were a boy

2008-11-04T14:33:00.002+08:00

If I Were A Boy - Beyonce

prelim results

2008-09-19T16:22:00.002+08:00

hey world.

Prelims are over and as of now, there are 37 more days to the 'o's. My results were promising. Not that brilliant, but promising. My greatest disappointment was English and SS.

English- 62 (B4)
Biology- 69 (B3)
Physics- 69 (B3)
Chemistry- 65 (B3)
E Maths- 67 (B3)
A Maths- 52 (C6) - I freaking passed!!
Humanities- 62 (B4)
(SS 22/50, Lit 40/50)

So overall, it's 20 pts for me. Not that I can go anywhere, but its a definite improvement from SA1. I shall aim to improve on each subject by 2 to 4 grades by the 'o's.

See you on the 13th of November.

No words required

2008-09-12T15:19:00.006+08:00

The prelims are over and I feel like this:

I feel so relieved I wanna do this:

But that would be stupid because then I'll be like this

So I just have to do this:

And uma was right, I couldn't stick to the hiatus.. So now I feel like this:

Adieu!

SWEET 16!

2008-09-10T14:24:00.005+08:00

I'm sixteen today!!

Like, finally!

I don't know why, but I woke up feeling indifferent despite it being my birthday. Then I received text messages from farah, uma, cecelia and marissa, and it lifted my spirits. Thanks guys for all ur well wishes and cards, love ya lots :) . I got a fake spider, which was what we call a 'prank-gift'. I would've screamed if it was a cockroach, and thank god it wasn't. (Guys, don't get any ideas here).

Guess the pre-exam-anxiety sort of overshadowed the birthday spirit. It's depressing to think that I couldnt've celebrated the sweet-ness of being sixteen. Its on a wednesday, in the middle of a fasting month, not a really good timing. It's not as festive as I had hoped it would be. But still, mum bought cake, and currypuffs- YUM :)

But then I realised that year after year, she forgets my birthday. I hurts when you make it a point to remember an old friend's birthday, and they forget yours. I didn't expect anything from her, just acknowledgement. She only has one motive to talk to me- to compare how weak we are in malay. It sucks to think that you don't even remember i exist when i still remember your number. I know you're in a great school, but am I not worth your time because i'm in a neighbourhood school? I'll just have to face the fact that we have different lives and different priorities now and its a mere impossiblity for us to be as close as we were before :(

I decided to break my 'strict hiatus', what with it being my birthday. So now I shall impose a 'strict-er hiatus'. But technically, i'm not 16 till 11.38 pm. Gosh, so close to sept 11.

anyway,

adieu.

A hiatus beckons me.

2008-09-05T21:20:00.003+08:00

After watching Dead Poets Society, an almost-ancient movie starring a young Ethan Hawke, I finally found the best way to view Life in general:

CARPE DIEM!

(Latin for seize the day)

It simply means seizing all the current opportunities coming your way, because life is short and time is fleeting. It's usually likened to "eat, drink, and be merry , for tomorrow we die."
I know its easier said than done, especially when you, like me, have nothing much to seize in life. But still, we can always adopt a positive outlook towards everything, and anything.
I really want to go out, do things, go places.

But then my conscience sounds," Hello girl ,your 'o's are nearing, and you've got no time to seize anything now except, of course-and preferably-your textbooks."

So i resign to the fact I have to push EVERYTHING which is undeniably fun to November the 13th. Funny how I let the exams dominate my life to the point of scheduling fun only after it. Unless, of course, if I didn't give a damn about it- in which case, I'd be better off commiting suicide, if not my father would commit a homicide.

So much for positive thinking...

On a positive note, I've got a new love of my life- Leo, my pet bird. Its a baby parrot, which is squaking ever-so-adorably for attention right now.

Adieu.

PS: I'm willing to lend the dvd to anyone who wants to watch Dead Poets Society. I recommend it, if you appreciate the arts, especially Literature and poetry.

Oh, and as the title of the post suggest, I'M ON STRICT HIATUS.

Hooked on the drug of life.

2008-09-03T18:34:00.002+08:00

Euphoria intoxicates.

It liberates

and permeates.

Indescribable ecstasy

is what I'm feeling now.

All of a sudden,

I love me;

my life,

my circumstances-

everything.

I feel no pain,

fear no fear.

Lightness

is all that engulfs me.

Burden-less

is the life I seem to lead.

I am high-

high on love;

the love of life.

"What lies behind us, and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us."

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson ~

Moon and star signs?

2008-08-31T20:22:00.003+08:00

I found out that there are 2 different star signs, Moon signs and normal star signs, which may not necessarily be precise..

My moon star is: Pieces

Tenderhearted and sympathetic to an unusual degree, you have an understanding of other people's feelings and needs which borders on being telepathic. You are extremely compassionate and cannot bear to see any fellow creature - be it human or animal -suffer. Because of your kindness and nonjudgmental attitude, people in pain or confusion are drawn to you for help, which you readily give. Sometimes your softheartedness is taken advantage of.

You are a gentle, poetic soul and have a great love and affinity for music. Because many of your feelings are nebulous and vague and you cannot easily verbalize how you experience life, music seems a natural language for you. You are also tremendously romantic and are often "in love with love".

find out your moon sign

And I found out that my true star sign is Leo, and not Virgo, due to the 'wobbling' of the Earth or something.

Click here to find out your true star sign

Cool or what?

Leona Lewis- Footprints in the Sand.

2008-08-29T15:23:00.003+08:00

I cried when I watched the video. It's a beautiful song.

click here if you want to cry too

The teacher's day celebrations were AWESOME! Though I only enjoyed the hip-hop dancing part. There were three of them, two of which were amazing btw. One was like a rubberband, the other was like a penguin, and the last one was like a plank of wood.

Then we had the aces-day-competition-thing. Participated in captain's ball. We lost to a very intimidating 4n1 which had netball superstars for players. 7-9, not bad, considering the fact that 2 of our 8/9 teammates were netballers. Pei jun's long arms sort of did the trick.:) And after that, we had a hell of a time swinging ropes and skipping, so much so that my legs hurt now. I felt as if I was reliving my primary school days, where we would skip and play hopscotch and all forms of catching. I had a hell of a good time. Oh, and uma managed to skip a whopping 109 times in one minutes. *Fingers crossed* Let's hope she gets at least a bronze..

And yes, I know this is the second time in two days i've changed my blogskin. I got sick of the self-inflicted green I put in the previous one, so I simply had to change it, to a more simpler one. Yes, its only fitting that a simple girl has a simple blogskin. I don't know about you, but I think its homely..

Ok then, I may be posting often now since its the holidays- if I've got anything interesting to share will y'all.

Adieu.

ok.. I'm bored.

2008-08-28T17:50:00.004+08:00

FINE! I can't take it. I surrender. I had to blog.

There I was, wandering around the house. Pacing up and down, to and fro, left and right, side to side, you get the picture. I knew I had to study, but I couldn't get my restless self to sit still and vegetate on a textbook. So, I turned my attention to the sleek laptop at the side of the table and thought, "hey, checking my email won't hurt, right?". And so I did. Then I thought I'd check my blog, not that there was anything worth checking- so then I thought "A makeover won't hurt, right?" . aaaaaand, that's how I got thus far.

Anypoo, the first two weeks of prelims went swell, save for a few cringes when stumbling upon unforgiving questions here and there. Oh, and I almost died during my Lit paper. Yes, i kid you not. I had heartburns for god knows what reason. Its like some mild electrocuting feeling, but ah well, I'm still here-alive, dammit. I thought I could run away to the gates of heaven before my physics paper, but no, I HAD get well. I loved the lit poem though, maybe i'll post it up if I find the time, and the paper.

Speaking of lit, we were given this prose and a portion of it struck me (and no, I didn't get another heartburn). Its rather short, so I guess i'll post it up.

An extract from an extract of Kazuo Ishiguro’s Remains Of The Day

“Perhaps then there is something to his advice that I should cease looking back so much, that I should adopt a more positive outlook and try to make the best of what remains of my day. After all, what can we ever gain in forever looking back and blaming ourselves if our lives have not turned out quite as we might have wished? The hard reality is, that surely for the likes of you and me, those great gentlemen at the hub of this world who employ our services. What is the point in worrying oneself too much what one could or could not have done to control the course one’s life took? Surely, it is enough that the likes of you and me at least try to make a small contribution count for something true and worthy"

Interesting.

Adieu.

Htet's birthday bonanza

2008-08-22T20:08:00.007+08:00

Greetings!

Ok, before you start throwing tomatoes at me, I've an absolutely interesting post! Honest!

Htet's birthday went SWELL!

As a group present, we gave her, err.. contraceptives (to my young readers, if you don't know what that means, don't bother finding it out) which I embarrassingly bought- for HER, not for myself. Hey, she is one hell of a horny person, so we found that present, erm, befitting.

We got uma tissues (since she blatantly wastes them ) and farah baby clothes( since she's dying to be a mother). So, off we went to Pizza Hut at J.Point.

We were given this table for six, although we wanted to sit in the cushion-ny chairs meant for four people. We asked twice but to no avail, and end the end of it, probably the whole restaurant knew we wanted to sit there. If that wasn't troublesome enough, MA HTET HTET HAD TO FALL OFF HER CHAIR, PULLING THE TABLE AND ALL ITS GLASS PLATES WITH HER. It was so freaking hilarious! Farah, who was sitting opposite her, was too pre-occupied with saving the table than helping htet up. All Marissa, Uma and I could do was laugh our butts off. Now, we were known as the table of klutzs. Haha, HAPPY BIRTHDAY HTET!

Then we went to take neoprints and jurong entertainment centre, only to find out that there was a Pizza Hut outlet, that wasn't replaced by a kopitiam, quite contrary to what Marissa and Farah had in mind. aaaanyway, here are the pics!

It says "Oh my, Farah's violated"

Now, pictures from the school's (dead boring) National Day Ceremony

Uma and the man of her dreams..Here's Farah..And her vile finger..

Ok. Done. See, that wasn't too bad, was it? Ok.. guess is back to hiatus-ing. I just realised that going on a hiatus is like going on a cyber diet. How cool is that?

Adieu.

Bye.

2008-08-10T16:21:00.004+08:00

Here's something to get you off your lazy ass
A countdown:

play backgammon

To our 1st 'o' level paper. On the 20th. Save our souls.

Ok, unless i've got something REALLY interesting-to-the-point-of-inability-to-contain to say, I'm going on hiatus. Yes, a hiatus (*wails*) . It's been ages since I managed to stick to a hiatus, but I guess there's a first for everything. If I do post sth rather uninteresting from now onwards, you have every right to slap me in the face and tell me to get a life. So,

Farewell, cyberspace!
Till we meet on the 13th of November!

PS: I might post something on my birthday. C'mon.. how often does a girl turn 16? (on september the 10th btw) *sheepish smile*

Caution: Emo-ness ahead.

2008-08-09T14:23:00.005+08:00

Amidst all my mugging, I took the time to think- to reflect.

I realised I've been very pensieve these few days, when i'm alone. I noticed so many things that hadn't occured to me before. And with that knowing, came gratitude- for all incidents of my life, be it good or bad, that were intertwined. I would have never been the same person had all these events not happened. It's like this perfect jigsaw puzzle- all coming together.

And now, to think of it, when asked what I intend to do with my life, I'm at an utter loss for words. Surely I would have some idea? But, no, I don't. I'm not sure whether I made this decision myself, or that it was naturally set in my thinking. I'm just going to let life play out day by day, and watch it unfold. All I know now is that I'm going to work toward the 'o's.It's like a sort of resignation to the uncertainty of life, only that i'm not giving up. Does that make sense? I'm just taking it one step at a time.

It's weird, isn't it? I mean, when a person asks me what my ambition is, my answer is never the same, because i can never feel the answer. All I know is that its just coming out of my mouth. Like when I say "a journalist" or "a playwright". Its just bland words with no impact. I've not felt the trials of becoming a playwright, so how can i say i want to become one? All I know now is that the o levels would have a part to play in it. And what I'm doing is just giving an answer for the sake of strengthening that person's impression of me- or to give them some clue of what I'm going to be. And a clue is never certain.

Then a thought crosses my mind: Maybe its because I've got self-esteem issues. But then I realise, no, it's got nothing to do with self-esteem. Its got nothing to do with anything. Its just is; our lives can never be certain. So who are we to ascertain it? All we have to do is to dream big dreams, let go, and go with the flow. Again, am I making sense? ah, who cares.

"Take a bow, the night is over.
This masquerade is getting older.
Lights are low, the curtains down
There's no one here.
Say your lines but do you feel them?
Do you mean what you say when there's no one around.
Watching you, watching me,
You're one lonely star-
One lonely star and you don't know who you are."

Happy 08.08.08!

2008-08-08T12:22:00.011+08:00

Bring on the Beijing Olympics!

Tis the season to go crazy over hot sports heroes.

Not that i'll be watching the darn show AS often as i would like to. Curse the prelims! Curse the school! Curse Cambridge! But, *sighs*, nevermind. AAAnyway, i've compiled some must-watch people you must watch out for in the must-watch event of the year.

Firstly SWIMMING

Michael Phelps.

AKA the heaven sent swimming god.

Tom Daley

AKA wonder fish

And he's only 14!

POLE VAULTING:
I don't know why i love to watch this. My heart leaps when they leap. The only person to watch out for is:

Yelena Isinbayeva. Record-breaking extraordinare

Gosh, that looks like fun.

There's only one I'm looking out for for basketball:
Yao Ming, the basketball troll

TENNIS:

Ana Ivanovic

You have got to love her name! (E-vann-o-vich) Cool or what?

Rafael Nadal

No introduction required. Need I say more? Too bad Maria Sharapova isn't playing.

Yea, that should be all the people i'll be looking out for. Of course there's the track and field events, but I could never remember any of their names.

If there's one event you should watch its pole vaulting. Oh yea, and swimming, duh.

cheers!

Potty over Potter... again

2008-08-02T20:55:00.003+08:00

MARISSA!

I watched the teaser trailer of Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince. They'll begin to show it on the 21st of november.. and i'll be in Holland! Speaking of which, my flight's been confirmed!! I'll be leaving on the 18th and returning on the 9th of December. YAAY!! But, AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!! WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME?! Nevermind, *wails* I'll watch when I come back. You guys go ahead and watch it first. But be prepared to watch it again when I come back. Muahahahahahaaaa! I'm lugging the four of you with me!

HOT OR WHAT?!

The 1st of August.

2008-08-01T15:58:00.006+08:00

It's the 1st of August.

1 more day to Singfest, not that I'm going. Poor, pathetically-deprived me. Alicia Keys would be so near, and yet so far.. *wails*

14 more days to prelims, god help me.

19 more days to Farah's birthday,
20 more for Uma's,
21 more for Htet's, and
22 more days until I realise the humungous hole in my pocket.

And last and definitely not least,
3 more months to the big 'O's.

Oh god WHY?! 3 more months. 90 more days. 2160 hours. 129600 minutes. (And no, I didn't do the calculations without the aid of a calculator)

This is the final lap. Everybody's feeling it- at least most of us in class are. Gone are the days when we would blatantly neglect our homework just to indulge in some light-hearted banter. I've realised some drastic changes in the behaviour of some of my classmates, namely Kenneth. He actually passes up his homework on time now! Guess it makes you want get off your lazy ass and start studying. Not many people go down for recess anymore- majority are in class, studying. And when a worksheet is given, all of us actually start doing it immediately. I bet they, like me, have realised that we don't have much time left till our 'o's. All those meagre things we used make a big fuss about now take a back seat. This is it- 3 more months.

And because of this, again, I may not be blogging as much. (not that I blogged much in the first place) Its not a hiatus per se, just a gradual decrease in usage (look at me, I'm speaking Science!)

Nevertheless, the 1st of august marks a joyous occasion for a special somebody...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY RENAE!!
*throws confetti and blows party horn-thing*
I'll try to call you now. But if you don't receive any calls today, don't think i've forgotten your special day, ok?

Bye world
(hehe, I sound suicidal)

Sandi Thom- I Wish I Was A Punk Rocker (with flowers in my hair)

2008-07-29T21:01:00.003+08:00

I fell in love with this song:

Oh I wish I was a punk rocker with flowers in my hair
In 77 and 69 revolution was in the air
I was born too late into a world that doesn't care
Oh I wish I was a punk rocker with flowers in my hair

When the head of state didn't play guitar,
Not everybody drove a car,
When music really mattered and when radio was king,
When accountants didn't have control
And the media couldn't buy your soul
And computers were still scary and we didn't know everything

When pop-stars still remained a myth
And ignorance could still be bliss
And when God Saved the Queen she turned a whiter shade of pale
When my mom and dad were in their teens
And anarchy was still a dream
And the only way to stay in touch was a letter in the mail

When record shops were still on top
And vinyl was all that they stocked
And the super info highway was still drifting out in space
Kids were wearing hand me downs,
And playing games meant kick around
And footballers still had long hair and dirt across their face

I uploaded the song on my playlist, btw.
Freaking awesome!

Tikilulu Truths

2008-07-27T14:51:00.010+08:00

I read the papers recently-more like yesterday- and found out that girls can be equally good in maths as compared to their male counterparts. Asian American girls scored better than the males (the survey was based on Americans) So,

MOVE OVER LEYU/SAMUEL/ ALL-MEN-IN-GENERAL! Bow down to the next Math genius!

(ok, fine, so you'll have to wait for another what, gazillion years for this mathematically-crippled brain of mine to see the light, BUT THERE IS HOPE. )

I don't think we females actually make lousy Mathematicians at all. See, my theory is, being the more compassionate and empathetic species of the two, we feel the need to just give in to the poor, hopeless men. See, besides squashing cockroaches, they have absolutely no worth. So, our intelligent female ancestors decided, " What the heck, let's pretend to be mathematically illiterate so the good-for-nothing bums can feel good about themselves!" And hey presto, Maths was born.

I know, I make a darn good feminist. Here's to the Tikilulu Tribe! I dare say, Chief has taught me well.

Speaking of men I came across a quoted bookmark about love. It said:

"Love looks not with the eyes but with the mind

And therefore its wing'd cupid painted blind

-Shakespeare "

Aww. I know. But then I came to realise then men tend to show their true colours through one medium, football.

Let's see, they...

Exploit each other's weakness:

Terrible. And not to mention, they go to war over petty things:

Despicable. All this for a soccer ball. You want the ball? You REALLY want the ball? FINE, TAKE IT.

Enough said.

PIcture time!

2008-07-25T16:41:00.013+08:00

ello!

Its that time of year again, where I clear my memory card off its unending list of photos. I couldn't upload all the photos though, because my phone or computer screwed up. so these are the few pics which were fated to be uploaded.

Let's start with the BBSS concert band performance-thingy pictures.

Me and htet:

Suhailah, shikin, Marissa a.k.a The Hostess, yours truly and htetMe and Shikin. I know you can't really see my face. Get used to it.

Idayu, shikin, me and htet (hostess was busy)

There was one REALLY nice pic of me htet and shikin, but it couldn't be uploaded, goddammit

And now, Racial Harmony Day!

Farah, htet and me.

Uma, Bharani, Farah, htet, and Marissabharain, uma, farah and an invisible me

There was one other with Cindy, but it couldn't be uploaded. *curses computer*

This was taken on the way to the npcc farewell party. I'm the shadow at the back.

Me and htet on a LORRY!! WoOooHOO!! My dad nearly had a heart attack when he found out about my lorry ride, But i assured him of my very stable centre of gravity. But he still feels like killing me everytime he hears me talk about the lorry ride..Picture of me and uma, taken, like aeons ago.

And the grand finale, a rare picture of the Great Goddess of Spastic-'ism'!

And yes, she dwells in the dingy corners of the Girls' Bathroom at BBSS.

2008-07-19T12:33:00.002+08:00

Mr Cha came to class yesterday, and he did give us a glimpse of hope, that maybe, just MAYBE, we may do better (bear in mind the maybe) than our supergenius seniors, who were the best batch bbss has ever had, EVER. It was only by a 0.3 margin, but still there is hope. (maybe he meddled with the statistics to our advantage- a psychologic tactic)

And then he went on to say that we needed to study, and work hard, and blahblahblahlamejokesblahblahblah... and then, he said "3 more months and it'll be over." The class was then silenced. Probably they, like me, came to realise that our puberscent secondary years was about to end in 3 months time. Imagine, in sec 1, i was so eager to hit sec 4 and get my 'o's over and done with, and now i find myself dreading every moment. Come the 13th of november( 12th for some), there'll be mo more irking our teachers( and the teachers next door) with our overly-excessive jokes. No more wague boooos for essess pastries. I'll deeply miss 4E2.

Funny, i've never felt this much longing to turn back time when i was in P6, probably because we were just going through the motions. Friendships then were way different from friendships now. Plus, we'd be divided into polys and JCs, and the whole course of our lives would soon be a stark difference from our friends. Plus, we'd be seeing a lot less of each other next year....

....and all this in 3 months. The very 3 months that may make or break us, and not to mention, divide us. Sometimes i wonder why i feel the need to study so hard when i should be cherishing whatever moments I have left in secondary school. Then the reality hits me- cherishing now gets you nowhere. Academic achievements do. cursethefreakingsystem!!

Enough said. Back to books..

Life's a run.

2008-07-12T14:33:00.005+08:00

Heyheyheyhey!

Isn't today just GREAT? I feel so light, so carefree. I know, isn't it rare? That someone who is a slave to her education actually feels free? You know, to think of it, I don't know why i'm so ecstatic...and I don't want to know why, I'm just happy as I am..

Had my 2.4 again a few days back. I hated the idea of exerting my muscles to the brink of its possible destruction. But as I was running, and panting until I thought my heart might stop pulsating, I realised that Life was like a marathon. Weird analogy, I know, but it gave me something to reflect upon. See, in a marathon (or a torturous 2.4), the well-prepared, stamina-filled people come out tops. Although they may feel the same setbacks, such as the searing pain in their muscles, they persist on- ignoring the burden that seems to drag them down. They have unwavering determination to complete the race to their very best, even if it means having to endure a heart attack at the very end of it.

In life, we experience worse setbacks, that could either make or break us. It could either tear the remainder of our lives apart, or give us the motivation to succeed all the more. And all we have to do is shun the thought of giving up out of or minds. Its easier said than done though, but its worth trying. Its impossible to race with yourself (unless you're crazy and have imaginary friends) that's why we have competitors. They could bring out the best in you, or leave you down in the dirt. Its just like the people you meet in life. And nobody can race without a tinge of moral support, that's when friends and family come into play.

And while I was running, I realised the most valuable lesson: I'm WAY better in living my life than running for 2.4, and would much rather do the former.

A weird thing happened while running though, because i saw tiny blue butterflies on the track.. It sort of gave me motivation, for some reason. Hah, farah and uma thought i was nuts, seeing them blue butterflies and all. They likened me to an unconscious cartoon character, with butterflies encircling its forehead. But bless their souls, they were so supportive during (and after) my 18-19 minutes of pure torture. I'm so thankful for the great friends i've got.

Replies to previous comments:

(Misa Sia Sey Sey): Wait, isn't 'Sey' spelt as 'Seh'? What SIA you! I'm more malay than you seh, and you take higher malay sia! (haha, i said 'malay sia', as in the country, ok.. nvm) Oh, and i read ur july 11th post. "Human Being: Open Eyes Wider"..HAHA!! I was laughing like some crazy woman when reading that. funny sia you..(i sound like some ah lian pretending to be cool)

(htet htet): yaay, good for you!

(auntybabs) Hehe, i don't mind. Urgh, i'm very lazy sia, to do up his blog. [kudos to misa, for introducing the sia seh disease]

In response to tic-htet-toe.blogspot.com

2008-07-06T14:15:00.004+08:00

Is it human nature to blame oneself for all the unplanned mistakes in one's life?
Is it not possible that somebody ELSE might be to blame for all the problems you've faced?
Why is it then, that you feel you have to always take your problems in your stride?
Nobody's perfect, not even you. We all have past memories that we're ashamed of, but we don't dwell on it, now do we? We move on. There's no point in bringing up the past with hopes of 'clarifying'. Yes, clarifying helps you move on, but only at the right time. You have to realise that you can't please everyone, and not everyone can please you.

Enough said. Don't take it to heart that we're unwilling to forgive him, there's nothing to forgive anyway. We're just appalled at his behavior, thats all. When we say he means nothing to us, we meant it. It may not make logical sense to you, but it does to us. You're our friend. We were just raged at the fact that he did that to you. We would naturally behave that way if anyone else were to do that to you. You've got to understand our stand on things. We're just the third party. We react by judging how you feel; what you express to us. So it is natural for us to feel this way about him because we were not involved. So in other words, don't mind us. Move on if you feel you have to. Remember, we're not the one's on the losing end here, we didn't feel the emotional trauma. You did. So whatever you do, no matter how illogical it may seem, we will try to keep our mouths shut. However, forcing us into doing things we do not feel comfortable with, especially at this stage, won't really help you much. Get this in your head dearie, we're as stubborn as you are.

cheers!

Change

2008-06-27T19:14:00.002+08:00

Change
Can blind you.
Leaving you in darkness
With no one to guide you.

Change
Moulds you,
Makes you whole
And frees you.

Change
Will find you
As it has found me.

I'm not the person
I once used to be.
***

Reason To Smile

2008-06-21T10:47:00.002+08:00

Here's a lovely poem by Lendl Ian Servillion:

Reason to Smile

How can one smile such sweet smiles,
When one is so saddened by sorrows for miles,
How can I smile the same smiles,
When life brings me nothing but tears,

I wondered for so long,
What reason you had to smile that long,
To keep smiling though troubles come,
And still remain sweet and silently overcome,

It's such a mystery to me,
Your smiles from heaven with glee,
I adore and yet envy thee,
But I'd rather you smile those at me,

I feel happy when I see you smile,
Even if I'm sad and lonely,
Your smiles bring me somewhere,
I don't even know where,

But it was you,
You gave me the reason to smile,
To smile with no reason,
To smile for a smile,

I guess life is just like that,
We need not a reason to smile,
For a smile is the reason itself,
To rejoice and open-heartedly give thanks,

I learned to smile because of you,
Because your smiles bring me joy when blue,
It proves how well and powerful,
A simple sweet smile can become so beautiful,

Smile for the sake of a smile,
Smile for the sake of happiness,
Smile for the sake of life,
Smile because of hope left in life,

Smile my friends,
Smile for me my Love,
Smile those same sweet smiles,
Smile so the world can be a peaceful dove...

Cheers!

2008-06-19T16:41:00.003+08:00

Holy Cow.

I checked my timetable for next semester, which is in 3 bloomin' days..

Holy Cow.

My freedom, or what's left of it, flew out the window.

Holy Cow.

I'm going to be a slave to my education.

Goddammit.

I finish at 4 pm every friggin' day. FuasdgjbcakhfacK-'ing' 4PM!!!!
So, this is it then- the end to my sanity. I'll not be posting much, AS YOU CAN TELL.

@##$#%##@

This had better be good.

Better In Time

2008-06-18T13:52:00.002+08:00

Boy, the previous post was really glum. I can't bear to read it again. Maybe i should delete it..

aaanywayyy, 4 more days to the start the school term, dammit. I managed to complete my A.maths tys ytd (whoooo!). Completed all of emaths hw. And now i'm left with... a lot. And i discovered that i'm allergic a maths.

Not only that, i've discovered a cure! Fear not, my mathematically-crippled friends, i've discovered a CURE. Yea, this deserves a nobel prize, mind you. And it is.... COLD WATER and CHOCOLATES!! Don't ask me how i came up with that beacause it is as stupid as it sounds. Yes, i had too much yesterday that i've got a sore throat today. But hey, it helped! I was a sneezing wreck yesterday, with a pen in one hand and a calculator in the other. All of it started when i started with amaths.

i've gotten over it and realised it's not my problem. Thanks auntybabs. I've forgiven, though not yet forgotten, but i will.

"It makes you burn to learn

You're not the only one

I'd let you be if you put down

Your blazing gun."

My Dilemna-'ed' Confirmation Day.

2008-06-15T22:37:00.004+08:00

hey...

had my confirmation just now, saw the computer on, and decided to blog about it. I can't take it. There's too many feelings welled up in me.

The confirmation rite in church went swell. Uncle(or should i say godpa) Charlie's presence was really comforting. He was almost late, to my horror, but thank god he made it on time. Bless his soul, he was trying so hard to make up for what he missed during the rehearsal. Although he was not my choice for the ceremony, he really tried his best. He looked proud, estatic even. At that point of time, i felt that everything was going smoothly. No disagreements, nothing.

But then i realised it was too good to be true. Somebody else was not happy, and that made me feel depressed, disappointed, remorseful, disheartened and a little bit appalled all at once. I thought she was ok, although i was a bit disappointed that they didn't want me to chose her to be it, i thought she'd be ok with it. I called her, and she didn't seem to care that it wasn't going to her (which took me aback because i wanted her to fight for her rightful place) and that everything was ok with it not being her. I really wanted to share the moment with her, but they insisted it was better if I chose him.. what with him being senior and all.

So mass went well, but my heart fell after it. Seeing the sadness i her eyes made me want to turn back time. I didn't like the situation we were in, and it made me want to cry. Even now, as i'm writing this, i'm holding the tears back. My jaw feels tingly, in a bad way. Am i at fault? I mean, i was happy with him being it, although i would've been happier if she was it. But, weirdly enough, i don't have any regrets. What's done is done.. time to move on.

Funny, the last line just came out so easily. Things are easier said than done. The gathering was great, but my mood too dampened to really enjoy the company. The moment i'm happy, my thought would trail to the problem at hand.. and i feel even worse. My friends and family were a joy to have.. but somehow their joy couldn't resonate with me. I thought she would come, but she didn't.. that got me down.

I'm sorry if this post seemed too depressing for a supposedly joyous occasion.I sort of envied my friends, who were rejoicing- they were so carefree. The first half were great, just that the second half was horrible for me. And when the all the picture taking with my godfather was going on, i couldn't help but think of her, and what it would've been like with her around. She didn't even tell me she wasn't coming..

I would post pictures of it, but my all my smiles in every picture didn't seem sincere- i was just feigning happiness. I didn't show it to anyone because i was really appreciative of their love and support for me. It's just that everytime i really try to be happy, thoughts just come back, and no matter how hard i try to push them aside, it still lingers. Being with my friends, and oddly enough, nikki, helped to take my mind off things, for a while...

I think i've poured out enough of my emotions right now. My jaw feels so tense, like its gonna snap. I'm just gonna shut up right now, forgive and move on. I don't want to make a mountain out of a molehill. To think of it, its already been made just that. Listening to what my mum said made me feel a little bit better.They told me she was being selfish, but i can't help but think it's all my fault.. is it?

2008-06-11T20:28:00.002+08:00

A portion of 'I Believe' by Blessid Union of Souls (and no, i didn't spell it wrongly)

"Walk blindly to the light and reach out for His hand.
Don’t ask any questions and don’t try to understand.
Open up your mind and then open up your heart,
You will see that you and me aren't very far apart.

‘Cause I believe that love is the answer,
I believe love will find a way.
I believe that love is the answer,
I believe love will find a way.

Violence has spread worldwide and
there’s families on the streets.
We sell drugs to children now,
well why can’t we just see?
That all we do is eliminate
our future with the things we do today.
Money is our incentive now, so that makes it ok?"
***

Confirmation's coming up this Sunday. You know what this means, no cathecism classes for the rest of my life!! Okay, i know there is a more spiritual meaning to this, and i respect that, but boy does the scraping off of classes come as a huge plus point!! I've been tormenting Lisa these past few weeks, and i'm loving every bit of it. They want us to come back to 'serve the church', but nahh.. that can wait a few years. Ok then, I may be posting a lot less now (as compared to nowadays, when i'm posting practically everyday) and I bet you all know why.

But the funny thing is, despite being burdened by the workload, i feel bizzarely light. I know it's the time to stress ourselves silly, but really, are we supposed to? I'm taking it one day at a time, which does sound pretty scary now, to think of it. This hols is the only break we have from studying (apart from the nov-dec hols- where we don't study at all) . September would just fly by (and *sobs* so would my birthday). The 3rd week has been laid-back, and honestly, i have no regrets. Wait till you see me on the fourth week, i'll be a studying zombie (here's looking at htet ;P).

K then,

Adieu.

2008-06-10T09:22:00.002+08:00

Watched Narnia: Prince Caspian. It was FANTASTIC!! Prince Caspian was HOTT!! Edmund was HOTT! No doubt this show is more darker than the previous one, but this one held more meaning. Besides, i got to see Susan (arrow-girl) draw her arrow! Wooo! I loved her role in the movie.. so fiercely-in-control. She's my new role model. Pity, she won't be in the next few Narnias. I love people with arrows! First Legolas, from LOTR and now her. I tell you, it was so heartbreaking to find out that Susan and Prince Caspian couldn't be together, beacause she was "1300 years older than he was"..THEY LOOKED SO GOOD TOGETHER!! Nevermind, if she won't have him, i will.

Oh, like the song? Its from the show as well, the credits part, to be exact. Love it!

2008-06-09T12:40:00.003+08:00

Fine. I decided to change the blogskin i've been having for years now, to something fresh. I guess i could go thru' the trouble of scavangeing through blogskins.com, but i thought this'll be more original. Besides, being the fickle-minded person that i am, customising the skin to suit my mood'll be easy. (ok, why do i sound as if i'm promoting it?) aaaanyway, comments, anyone?

***

Read about the 'Saving Gaia' project. Tis commendable, BUT i still don't understand why the need for an incentive to get people to save their planet Earth. This, regrettably, shows that there still are people in this world who can't be bothered to save it. It is obvious, doomsday is fast approaching at the rate we're going. (and from a documentary, it's said to be in 2012)
I still don't understand how people can be so oblivious to the obvious destruction around them, earthquakes, cyclones, etc. Guess it takes all sorts to rule the heavily-destroyed globe of ours. It's sick, in a sense.

Speaking of sick, it's depressing to see how far we've come. I mean, I haven't lived long enough to judge, but from what people tell me, i realised that we're self-centred, conniving little devils, in our own selfish way. Society has changed. Beauty is no longer skin-deep but the picturesque images portrayed by stick-thin models. Advertising companies play by it. Young girls look up to it. I'm just sickened by it. Money makes the world go round, and its become the main reason why people wake up everyday. Isn't it getting a bit out of hand? Maybe all these devastations does have a hidden agenda...

I don't know why the randomness of this post (maybe because i was watching Oprah prior to this), but it does cross my mind almost everyday, just like my eagerness to get the 'o's over and done with. What has the world become?

2008-06-01T21:53:00.004+08:00

Got this from 'Where Rainbows End' by Cecilia Ahern. This part really struck me. It goes like this:

" ...It's funny because when you're a child, you
believe you can be anything you want to be, go everywhere you want to go. There
are no limits. You expect the unexpected, you believe in
magic. Then you grow older and that innocence is shattered. The reality of life gets in the way and you're hit by the realisation that you can't
be all you wanted to be, that you just might have to settle
for a little bit less.
Why do we stop believing in ourselves? Why do we
let facts and figures and anything but dreams rule our lives?"

It's certainly food for thought.I was convinced to re-look my goals in life after reading this. It really put things into perspective for me. Who knew that an excerpt could alter your thinking-system, eh? Way to go, Ahern, you've won me over.

Anyway, i went for the bbss band consert yesterday and it was awesome! The band members were just so passionate about the music to the point that i began to regret joining NPCC. It could be a phase, but their togetherness was just amazing! I'm so envious.

As suspected, me and htet got lost in our attempt to walk from Bugis mrt station to NAFA. We cabbed there, eventually. The fee chalked up to be about $11 sth! But the taxi driver was so sweet as to let us off with $10. (Bloody hell, it was his fault anyway, HE confused himself over the different campuses. For crying out loud, can't the school have one campus instead of 3?! 2 of with are in some godforsaken place.)
So, yeah. I wanted to take pictures but decided against it, not because of the fact that it wasn't allowed, but because of the fact that Mr Quek a.k.a the fire-breathing dragon was sitting behind me. Shikin took pics tho'. But she's yet to go online to send them over. Will post them when i've got 'em.

ok, i best be off then. I've got to brace myself for a week of double maths periods. *groans*

Adieu.

2008-06-01T10:46:00.004+08:00

Got tagged by Pei Jun.

1. What disappoints you most?
Putting in effort and not getting results.

2. Which are more important you? friends or boyfriends?
well, duh?! Friends!

3. Who are the people you trust most?
Me mum, best buddies and a few of my aunts.

4. Do you think you have enough confidence?
It depends on the situation.

5. What do you hate?
Bugs, perverts, maths.

6.What kind of boys do you like?
Sensitive, witty, not-egocentric, compassionate, cute,ah, the Prince Charming prototypes..(though rare)

7. What is your goal for this year?
To do extremely well for the 'o's and to build up on my self-esteem.

8. Do you believe in eternity love?
Yup.

9. Have you broken someone's heart till he/she wants to commit suicide?
God, definitely not.(at least, i hope so)

10. What feeling do you love most?
The warm feeling of being appreciated after doing a good deed. Oh, and the feeling of satisfation when I actually PASS maths!

11. What are the requirements of the other half?
ehhh.. *blushes* romantic, intelligent (otherwise he'll just be a male-bimbo), funny, easy on the eyes (god, imagine staring into a wart-ful face), bubbly, charismatic,and most importantly, LOYAL (now, why does a dog come to mind?)

12. Do you love to make your friends happy?
Who doesn't?

13. do you cherish every single friendship of yours?
yup.

14. What are the things you'd do if your days are numbered?
ah, love this question. I would:
1) Go bungee jumping from Mt Everest.
2)Fly to the moon
3)Dance on the moon
4)put a picture of my face on the moon
5)Play practical jokes on everyone
6)Do something stupid to land myself on the news
7)(of course) Spend time doing all these things with my family and friends
8) Closer to the end of my numbered days, jump off a cliff, with an invented contraption in an attempt to fly; or die trying.

15. what are the most important things in your life?
love and fresh air.

16. do you love anime?
hell, no. Never have and never will.

17. describe the person who tagged you in five words.
Loony, funny, bubbly, lovable, outgoing.

18. if you had one one wish, what would it be?
To fly.

19. if you could rewind time, when would you go back to?
To the stone age, where man-apes rule!

20. Do you love yourself
YES!!

I shall (like pei jun)just tag 5 to do this quiz(altho' its s'posed to be 8)
1)Marissa
2)Htet
3)Farah
4)Denise
5)Lisa and
anyone who's reading this and wants to do it.

2008-05-27T18:37:00.003+08:00

Watched 'Made of Honor' just now and realised that i'm such a romantic-movie/book-buff. I realised that Patrick Dempsey can be annoyingly disheveled at times. I also realised that Michelle Monaghan looks uncannily like Katherine Mcphee.(I know, i've realised lotsa things) But both of them had wonderful chemistry though, and this movie was the best I've watched so far (this year). THREE THUMBS UP MAN! If you're reading this and you haven't watched the movie, what the hell are you waiting for?!

You know, I intended to write much more than this, but somehow, i forgot what i was so keen to tell you. Ah well, your loss.

Adieu!

P.S: I realised that i've developed i certain dislike for people who feign their maturity level. It's just SO annoying. God bless their deprived souls.

2008-05-26T14:08:00.002+08:00

The paper is over.

Yes, THE revered MT paper is over. All those pathetically-hopeless in the almost-useless subject, like yours truly, would be rejoicing our asses off! I think i stand a good chance of scoring at least a B. But then again, ought not settle for second best. An A I shall pursue!

I felt an overwhelming sense of completion after doing the
paper and the feeling is- undescribable. Its partially euphoria and partially gee-I-don't-know-what-to-do-next kinda feeling. Its not like this is my first time sitting for the ML paper, but there's something about sitting for the paper in your FINAL year in sec sch. If I get an A this time, its all due to my highly-dedicated-yet-unpaid tutor *drum roll please*.. MARISSA!!! But if i get a C or lower (hopefully not), its all my fault. Sometimes you just can't fight the pathetic feeling inside you.
*******

Nowadays, whenever i read about all the natural disasters going on, this song always comes to mind. Its by Micheal Jackson (don't worry, its totally SANE) . You can visit http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W61Q-EZ8R7M to watch the video of it, but i'd like to bring ur attention to the ever-meaningful bits:

There's a place in your heart
And I know that it is love
And this place could be much
Brighter than tomorrow.
And if you really try
You'll find there's no need to cry
In this place you'll feel
There's no hurt or sorrow
There are ways to get there
If you care enough for the living
Make a little space, make a better place.

Chorus:
Heal the world
Make it a better place
For you and for me and the entire human race
There are people dying If you care enough for the living
Make a better place for You and for me.
.......

We could fly so high
Let our spirits never die
In my heart I feel
You are all my brothers
Create a world with no fear
Together we'll cry happy tears
See the nations turn
Their swords into plowshares
We could really get there
If you cared enough for the living
Make a little space to make a better place.

Touching much? It does get you thinking, doesn't it?

Adieu.

2008-05-23T14:06:00.002+08:00

I finally found out what friendship is.

I've had many friends for many years but it is now that I've learnt the meaning of friendship.

What took me so long? Maturity did.

I've realised that a true friend

` teaches lessons you never want to learn

` gives all and asks for nothing in return

` sees you for you

`doesn't critise your imperfections, but finds a way to work around it.

` at times, understands you better than you understand yourself

` does not always have to be your best friend.

And i'm proud to say that most of my closest friends are true friends. So what my mum said was true 'difficulties bring out the best in people- and the worst'.

Nowadays, i feel so unbelievably ecstatic when i'm with my friends. Well, I'll have to cherish these last few months. To think of it, despite being friends for 2-4 years, i find myself more attached to my secondary school friends than i ever was with my primary school ones. Maybe its because we sort of matured together, went through the ups and downs of teenage life, and so we've grown so close to each other. The 'we' here refers to shikin, marissa, farah,htet and uma (tho' she's busy now) . And if any one of you is reading this, I LOVE YOU GUYS!

Ok, i've got a malay 'o' level exam to worry about now.

Adieu!

P.S: David Cook won, goddammit.

2008-05-08T16:46:00.007+08:00

1 down, 2 to go!

The Mids are OOOOVERRR!! wooo! But, no doubt, my partial freedom/joy/(text)book-free-days would be shortlived. I've still got my upcoming Malay 'o's to mope around for. Then there's the prelims. Oh, and then after that there'll be my O levels. Did I fail to mention that my days are seriously numbered?!

Sometimes i just feel like vegetating- doing absolutely nothing. Funny how Patrick (spongebob's dopey best friend) comes to mind now. Yea, i've got 3 whole days to laze around. Right. I shall start searching for a rock to live under.

But there's uno problemo: I can't seem to not do nothing because i'm always doing something- studying, to be precise. And I have no clue what to do (hey, that rhymes!). Ahh pff, just look at me- I'm given 3 days off and i'm complaining, yes, actually COMPLAINING about it. Hell, i'm turning into a nerd. The horror!! The initial bliss felt upon the mention of a HOLIDAY has *poof* evaporated into thin air. urgh, maybe i've come to realisation that i've got to find something to keep my brain from rotting (that i'll leave for AFTER my o levels)

Speaking of which, i've come up with:

My Post-'O'-Level List

1. Learn to write with my left hand.
Hey, don't laugh, if my grandma can do it, so can I. Being ambidextrous does come with its benefits. They say being left-handed is linked to being left-brain-'ed'. So, my rotting left brain shall be inactive no more!

2. Master the Rubik's cube.
It's killing me that i can only do one side of it when there are freaky people who can do it freakishly fast. It makes me feel so incapable and lousy, so i shall make it a point to master the tricky little devil-of-a-cube.

3. Read until my eyes pop out of its sockets.
Yes, i shall indulge in my favourite pastime.

4. Have a movie marathon.
My movie-watching needs catcing up on

5. (probably) Work in the zoo.
hey, it will be fun!

6. Brush up on my French.

7. Watch every non-horror NC16 movie which interests me
Hey, you're only going to be 16 once. I know, I can always watch it next year, but there's no kick in being 17 when watching a NC16 movie, as compared to being sixteen. OK, maybe its just me.And having to be able to watch a movie which your younger sister can't (and can't pester you about) is just pure joy.

8. Learn how to play the guitar

9.Theme parks galore.
Sad to say, i've never been to one. I know, i'm a pathetic chicken. So, i shall take this oppourtunity to scream my guts out.

10. Have a hell of a time with my friends.
since *sob* this is our final year together.

*********

Oh, and i watched 'what happens in Vegas' today. It was only because of Ashton Kutcher, who was hot, the way. He played a useless shmuck , yet again. Nonetheless, the movie was mucho funny-o.

This is random, i know, but GO DAVID ARCHULETA! You OWN the American Idol competiton baby!

k, that'll be all.
Adieu.

2008-04-06T15:41:00.004+08:00

GOING ON HIATUS. ME AND MY GIBBERISH WILL BE BACK SOMETIME IN JUNE.

BEFORE YOU START MOURNING, WHICH I'M SURE YOU WOULD, BEAR IN MIND THAT I'M SITTING FOR AN EXAMINATION WHICH WOULD UNDOUBTEDLY AFFECT THE REST OF MY LIFE AS I KNOW IT.

UNTIL THEN, EMAIL ME IF YOU MISS ME, WHICH I'M SURE YOU WOULD.

OKAY, I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA WHY I WROTE THIS POST IN CAPITAL LETTERS, BUT ITS FREAKING COOL!

ADIEU PEOPLE!

2008-03-10T20:39:00.002+08:00

hey world.

Tis the season to be studying
falalalala la la la laaa..
But i don't really feel like mugging
falalalala la la la laaaaaaa...

Question: Why am i singing a christmas song in march? Go figure.

(only) Two months have passed and it already feels like a two whole years. People have told me that this year will whiz past. Hello? Still waiting. Went bloghopping and almost all of them included the words 'homework', 'stress' and 'sian.' Dunnoe abt the last bit tho' but seemingly, every 16-yr old i know is fretting over their hw and the big 'O's. I don't feel it. Really. I'll betcha this'll be the ONLY time you'll hear me saying this.

Recently had my last NPCC camp. T'was ok. The only memorable thing was that I slept for a 'hefty' 1 hour. We stayed up out of the goodness of our hearts, albeit unnecessary. We had thought the fate of our unit laid in our selection of the new DM, but boy were we wrong. Not only did they ignore our reasoning, they had picked the very person for the very post we were trying to prevent him/her from receiving. Heck, and what do I get? Bloody dark eye circles. Gee, thanks. That was what i needed.
I shan't be all sour now.. so moving on...
The 'appreciation' session was touching tho' but i didn't and couldn't cry, tho' most of the girls were crying. Me, melanie and htet felt left out. 'Emotionless', they called us. But really, are we? All my feelings regarding NP and my squadmates were already out in the open, so maybe that's why I didn't cry. Yea, i'm just expressive.. (trying to make me feel humane here...) Ok, maybe i don't cry THAT often, but does that make me any less GIRL? Its some stereotype, i guess. take it from Fergie, 'Big Girls Don't Cry'.
Campfire rocked like hell. Twas the best, ever. Tho' i felt that the other CCAs weren't as 'into it' as we were, but then again, maybe our enthusiasm had drowned out theirs. However, i had expected more from the Sec 3s...

I know this is random, but, ''OBAMA FOR PRESIDENT!!"
I've been reading articles after articles on the presidential race. Call it bombardment, but i've actually developed an interest in politics. I know, me and politics never have gone well together, but its starting to get interesting. Don't ask me about S'porean politics tho', i've got no clue. (and i daresay, I don't really want to have a clue) I guess american politics are a lil' bit more liberal, more open in their points of view.

Needless to say, i'll probably be posting more often, but then again, no promises. Gotta go now, their showing video clips of songs from the 80's on MTV. I just love laughing at their weird antics and the tape-ography. Hilariously entertaining.

Ohoh!! I watched Juno already. It so totally ROCKED!! gotta love Ellen Page. T'was a great potrayal of a pregnant typical-teenager. Heck it, she should've won the academy award for her role here. But the only downfall of the story was the storyline itself. I give it a three and a half stars. nevertheless, Ellen page has proven herself worty of becoming Hollywood's next big thing.

Adieu

2008-03-01T14:31:00.004+08:00

My blog is becoming boring. Really. It needs some revamping, but just don't have no time to do it. No, its just that I don't want to do it. Ah well, moving on..

I'm going to Holland on the 15th of novenmber! Weeeee! can't wait. I've never been to a country outside Southeast asia, or rather, any country besides Malaysia and Thailand. How cool is that? And then, when I come back, i'll have an another accent to imitate and make a mockery of. Muahahaha. I love being Singaporean.

Speaking of Singapore, the escaped JI scare has been on the headlines like- forever. Geez, every time i read the papers, the look on his daunting face can just petrify you on the spot. Trust me, there's no need for bombs here. And to think, he could be lurking around anywhere, in the jungle atop a tree, inside the longkang, IN MY SCHOOL!!!

here's a video i received in an email. No offense intended. oh, and remember to pause the song (my blog song) before playing the video.

Jeff Dunham's an amazing ventriloquist. He has other shows with other puppets, tho i think this one's the funniest. Enjoy.

2008-02-06T16:00:00.000+08:00

Greetings all....
*coughs dust*
....if there's anyone there.

Gong xi fa cai! Happy new year of the rat! What do I care? I'm just excited about the looong break, teehehe.

lots has happened last month, since my last post, namely the fact that i got a pathetic C5 for my malay 'o' levels. Haiz, i used to be SO good in my malay, in pri sch. And now, *poof* its gone..probably because i've been slacking my guts out. That has to change. oh, i did i mention that i had to see the principal about this. My dad, as usual, made a mountain out of a molehill. OK, details aside... see, i had an impression that our principal was awfully psychotic (maybe beacuse she never stops smilling to the point that you'll start to wonder if her muscles EVER get tired, of if she does have muscles there in the first place ) but maybe i was wrong. She seemed genuinely concerned about my so-called 'dilemna'. Guess she's not as freaky as i had made her out to be.

I wish I was 16 now, coz i really want to watch 'Juno'. Darn that NC16 rating. Its a stupid-yet-amusing kinda show, and i'm in for anything stupid right about now. My 'factual' textbook dwelling life is seriously getting to me. If i keep this up, i'll be a zombie by the time i hit my 'o's (here's looking at 4e1, lol) I desperately need some spongebob, something brain-rotting. I NEED GOOF!! And to think, this is just the beginning of feb. Routines can murder me. Sec 4 life can is a very painstakingly long routine: wake up, go to school, do homework, study, sleep. And come the 11th of febuary, it'll be: wake up, go to school, do homework, study, stuDY, STUDY, and then sleep. God help me.

My dad's laptop rocks.. i want one!

K, then, guess that'll be it for now.

tooooooodles!

P.S: i do apologise if i haven't replied many of your tags. The overwhelming number somehow got to me. SHARL dear, pls,pls PLS try to limit ur tags to about two to three, k? Send me emails, coz i check that more often, yea?)

2008-01-13T10:10:00.000+08:00

heyheyhey!

It's the weekend!! yaay much!

The first two weeks of sec 4 life went pretty smoothly, i must say. Twas not as stressful as i had expected-yet. Watched Beauty World at the esplanade. Pathetic as it seems, that was the first time i've been to the durian. And it was amazing! (both the show and the place). I had expected the singing to be very 'cheena', but boy was i wrong. It made me feel so proud of Singapore's art scene, though talents like these usually go unnoticed. pity.

I came across a sec 2 compo of mine, and my knack for writing blew me away. (not to brag lah..) Teehehe, I was like " Whoa, i actually write like this?" It takes time for me to realise some things like this, and yet i still doubt myself after the stunning discovery.

Since i've decided to post 1 post per month, i'd better make this long..

Oh, and i've felt such a strong dislike for being in sec 4 lately. Coz whenever i meet neighbours or random ppl my parents know, the conversation will ALWAYS start off as such:

Them: Hi girl, long time no see! Secondary what ah?
me: hi, erm i'm in sec 4.
Them: WHOA!! sec 4 ah.. 'o' level year right?
Me: (thinks "duh?" but just says:) yea.
them: Must study hard ah..
Me: (acts as if i've never heard that line before) Uh-huh.

And then silence befalls on both me and that particular person.

For crying out loud, can't people say anything else besides that? I'm constantly reminded of that fact that my 'o's are looming closer- not quite yet, but i'm still dreading it.

I bet you won't hear that being said to a kid in America. We are just so fixated with good results, and the exams that produces them...sheesh.
And its only January.

ok then.. i gtg now, adios

2007-12-31T20:01:00.000+08:00

4 more hours to a brand new year.
My resolution? In the song.

2008 will spell B-U-S-Y for me, so i'll be blogging alot less and heck it, i'll be on hiatus from june/july onwards.But before y'all start mourning, bear in mind that you can always email me, but you'll have to TELL me you've emailed me or else i'll just let my inbox collect dust and not to mention- rot. So yea, that sums it up. I'm not in the mood for a loong post and so, it ends here.

Happy new year all!!

2007-12-17T09:08:00.000+08:00

omigod

Hady actually WON?! When they announced his name my sis, my dad and i just stared blankly in stunned silence- and then burst out laughing. I was like "for real? no...." So then i hopped off to wake up my mom

Me: mummy, wake up.. guess who won the idol
thing
Mum: uuurghhhh. Mike?
Me: (tries desperately to control the potential laughter
outburst) no.
Mum: then who?
Me: guess..
My now annoyed Mum: the indian fella? i don't know, just
tell me
me: Hady.
Mum: (sits up) WHAT?!
Me: Yup
Mum: (switches on the lights, probably to check if i was lying) DON'T BLUFF!!

She realised that i was probably not because then we both started laughing, not out of jubilation but mockery. and so she asks me this:

Mum: so what have you learnt from this?
Me: urm.. life's unfair?
Mum: No, miracles can happen.

well.. its good for the guy. I can't say he deserved it, coz he really didn't. And he's not an underdog too.. at least i don't think so. It's a freak of nature. But still *feigns contentment* at least we won sth, huh? He's a good singer, but not great. But i'm guessing he has more charisma than the rest.. Whoopeee?! Is it just me or do y'all find it hard to celebrate his victory too? *hears my own echo* K, guess its just me.

I had to blog about his uncalled-for win because up till now, i'm still stupefied beyond repair..

"Oh, the horror, the hillarious HORROR!!"

2007-12-13T11:34:00.000+08:00

one of the many marvels of Nature:

Fascinating, isn't it?
*has a signature 'Marissa Moment' now *

11 more days to christmas!! WOOOOO!!
Tis a pity my cousins won't be coming down.. ah well.. moving on,

This year, in retrospect, was the year i discovered ME. Its funny, really. It takes a person a half of his lifetime to discover himself; to refine his qualities and to learn from hindsight. A blooming HALF!! Sometimes i wish that i was born with puberty * imagines myself as a matured baby*... ok, fine, maybe not. But still, my journey doesn't just stop here- unfortunately. My mom always told me that i'll learn more about myself thru' studying. I don't think so. I think it adds on to our IQ, not EQ.Ah well, to each his own.

I'm going Christmas present-hunting for my wee lil' cousins at yup, you've guessed it; Toys-R-Us, the undisputed TOY HAVEN. Being there makes me feel like a kid again. Not that i'm implying that i'm all grown up yet.. but still...somehow, the deprivation kicks in now.. Oh, the pain! and Oh, the misery! *starts pseudo-dramatisation* "I don't wanna grow up, i'm a Toys-R-Us kid".. teehehe.

Here's a fun fact: My grandmama works in Toys-R-Us and according to her, a GAZILLION celebs have entered the store, even UNmarried ones like Olinda and Taufik.. strange. She even saw Shah Rukh Khan.. such perks she enjoys at a ripe old age, eh?.. and at a toy store too. Hmm.. i might consider working there as a "Qualified Toy Tester". Ah, such bliss.

ooh ooh ohh... Asian Idol is about to begin. 'Good luck ,Hady!'.. But 'I hope you win, Jacklyn Victor!'

2007-12-04T10:21:00.000+08:00

"I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.

I have a dream today.

I have a dream that one day down in Alabama, with its vicious racists, with its governor having his lips dripping with the words of interposition and nullification - one day right there in Alabama little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls as sisters and brothers. "

that was part of the " I have a dream " speech by Martin Luther King Jr.

So i wondered to myself : Is his dream a reality?

When i read the newspapers, the answer boiled down to a sad no. Although this speech was meant for america, it can be applied to all multi-racial and/or multi-religious societies. Take Malaysia for example, what with all the uncertainty going on. I mean, they used to live in harmony- but what happened?And Sri Lanka- boy, that'll never end.

Its sad to think that after living in this world for like a GAZILLION years, we still tend to be prejudiced over the simplest difference- like our skin colour. I mean, we may have different skin colours but we're all the same on the inside.. so, why is it a cause for conflict?

I'm not saying that ALL places are like that.. just some. Thank god i'm in Singapore. I mean, if we can do it, why can't they?

the answer: tolerance is subjective.

*sigh* the sad, unavoidable fact of life.

2007-12-03T11:43:00.000+08:00

Back from Bangkok, after a hell of a christmas-present-shopping spree!
Didcha miss me? Bet y'all did.

Anyway, i did this numerology thing just now. The readings are so accurate, its freaky. So freaky, i hated it. I don't like the fact that what i think of myself doesn't tally up to the image i portray. So,i'm gonna change it. I think all that needs changing is my self-esteem. I need a dash of ego-boosting! And i have a rough idea of how i'm gonna do it.

I had this NPCC training camp last week, no, the week before last. The normal, routine training camp activities underwent a full makeover- and for the better. There was a whole lot of unit bonding, which i felt was neccessary. Although i enjoyed it, some people didn't, and i can see why- but i'm not going to comment.
I totally screwed my promotion test, but passed it all the same. My drills were ok, just that my M.O.I was horrendous. I realised that there is a stark difference between training your juniors and training your squadmates. And worst of all, i started off on the wrong foot.
We had a 'changing parade', in which we had to change into our full-u and then back into our pt kit. And when in pt kit we had to wear white socks. And since we were wearing black socks, one of us suggested wearing the white socks over. But hell, i didn't expect them to check. I got caught because my dumb track pants was riding up my ankles. It was a dissappointment. I let everyone down. And i swear, the sirs and ma'ams were trying to gun me down for doing sth so stupid. Ah well, someday, i'll look back and laugh at this. Someday, when i've LEFT the school.

this post is still short, but *yawn* i'm getting bored of it. See if i feel like writing tomo. As for now, its an 'adios' from me.

2007-11-16T16:48:00.001+08:00

Hello ello ello 'o 'o 'o

The holidays are here!! Woo!!
But this time round, the holidays don't feel like holidays... BOOO!!
What with all the ISPLs and the constant reminders that OUR 'O' LEVELS ARE NEXT YEAR!! *hyperventilates*

I've done much thinking/reflecting/vegetating into the abyss and i figured that if i study really reaLLY REALLY hard and put in 101% of sweat, tears, brain juice and other disgusting stuff into my studies (unlike my -50% now) , I might be able to get thru with a L1R5 of below 12. Before you start throwing rotten eggs and tomatoes at me.. I CAN EXPLAIN!! Nah.. there's nth much to explain lah..*hides under table*.. but, seriously, i think i've got potential. Yea, and i've been wasting it away due to my constant vegetating and brain-dead moments in class. That's why, i've come with this:

The Sacred Six Commandments of passing your 'O's well:

1. Thy teacher's preaching is law. Fullstop.

2.Thou shall pass up thy homework on time.

3.Thou shall refrain from decaying during lesson time.

4.Thou shall not blabber gibberish to all those thy is in close proximity with

5.Thou Shall devote thy fullest attention to thy teacher and the 'Almighty Board of Learning', which so happens to be white and glossy.

6.Thou shall persist in questioning thy teacher if in doubt, even if thy teacher is on the verge of paranoia. To Hell with her.

And there you have it. Genius, ain't it?

Godspeed.

2007-11-10T12:03:00.000+08:00

"See the look on my face
From staying too long in one place
But every time I try to leave
I find I keep on stalling
Feel like a big old stone
Standing by a strength of my own
But every time the morning breaks
I know I'm closer to falling

I'm all out of love, all out of faith
I would give everything just for a taste
Everything's here, all out of place
Losing my memory, saving my face"

Part of the lyrics of 'Saving my Face' by KT Tunstall

2007-11-08T10:26:00.000+08:00

aloooha all!

i'm in a SUPER good mood today because it's a public holiday.. and there's a looong weekend ahead! Weeeee!

Watched 'Stardust' yesterday and boy was it awesome! It was the best fantasy-kinda movie i've ever watched, though nothing can beat harry potter. Shows like Eragon and The Road to Terabitha and what-not would seem unbelievably arid and maybe even puerile after watching this one. I loved it! Robert De Niro rocked big time in this movie!

Found out that Corbin Blue has a new album out. Not a fan of his singing tho, but a GREAT fan of his chisled good-looks

I realised that i haven't been updating lately. This is because:

There comes a time in one's life when one gets bored of seeing one's blog almost every other day. Moreover, blogging can be a chore if one's computer goes berserk and shut's down on one, making one become raging lunatic by the time one gets to the webpage. Sometimes, when one thinks of smashing one's computer on the floor, and then burning it, one has to think of how one's father might react- which is, murdering one before one gets to murder the computer. So therefore, as a result, one refrains from using one's computer and finds other means of amusing oneself- even if it means one's hibernation from cyberspace.This is a clear example of how one can become so adamant due to one's impatience. Pity.

And now, when one says one needs to go now.. it probably means that one is getting bored of completing one's ever so bland post which is now becoming undeniably conpicuous.

So Long.

2007-10-27T08:43:00.000+08:00

Greetings one and all
Me come in peace *does the alien-sign-thing*

I've been watching National Geographic lately and i realised that the channel is really a 'Death Menu'. Why?

1. It gives us a scrumptous idea of how we're gonna spend our last years on earth...

2. It blows our tastebuds out with the whole idea of 'other beings' coming to GET US

3. It provides us with a mouthful of where people-killing disasters are lurking

here comes the best part:

4. There is an gargantuan array of 'delicacies' for you to choose from!!

However, it comes with a hefty price of :
$ 5ay-g006by3-t0-y0ur-futur3-d3ar.00

on to other things..

I read about the exorcism-thing trial going on... and boy is the lady stoooopid. Duh, its obvious she's lying. Idiotic money-face. She's so 'thick-skinned' lah.. want to sue the church somemore. I mean, JUST ADMIT YOUR WRONG DEARY! All i can say is " god bless her soul"

ML 'O' Levels in 4 more days!!

*runs around and pulls out hair*

ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod *hyperventilates*

i realised that i was ultra-random in this post. Ahh, aren't I always?

"JEEANN" 's signing off now,

toodle-loo!

2007-10-14T11:22:00.000+08:00

This is how i feel right now:

So muddled up, the all-over-the-place feeling. That's my brain right there. i've been mucking around lately. Its what you call the post-exam idling and the pre-'o' level depression put together; just that i'm idling more. As complex as this picture may be, its supposed to be depicting "nature". Go figure.

Anypoo, what with all that's happening now.. global warming and what-not, WHO CARES ABOUT STUDIES?! I mean, if i were to die tomorrow, all i'll take with me is contextual knowledge, and people, that is pathetic. Yes, i know life has to carry on and such, but why bother TRYING to make a difference when we're still reluctant to change? Its as if the climate crisis will suddenly cease to exist- fat hope. I'm talking globalisation here.

Life's not about academic achievements anymore, and it takes natural disasters, and the loss of lives, for us to figure that out.I mean, of course we will have to go to school, and learn, but not to the point of spending half a day,everday, of our entire lives stuck in a crummy building which we can barely call 'home'. Its some sort of forced "second- home". And you'll get pinalised for not doing well- i mean everybody's different, why can't they see that?

*sigh* and as for me, i'll continue studying, and studying like some profound zombie.. until after i graduate from a Uni. Whatalife. Coz' all that talk about 'globalisation'- not gonna happen, sadly.

2007-10-09T18:03:00.000+08:00

The Humiliating-ly Pathetic Day in the Sad Life of a Cassandra Jean Joseph.

Yes. Pathetic as it may seem, but we had an 'amazing race' thingy at vivocity. I repeat, V-I-V-O-C-T-Y!! And yes, you've guessed it: Our sadistic school enjoys watching its students run around like crazy fools in the hippest (and HUGEST )shopping mall. And all of which IN SCHOOL UNIFORM, mind you. *wails* how torturous can life be?!

Me, farah, uma and divya were in the same team. It would've been pretty cool actually, running around and finding clues and stuff- IF it wasn't in vivocity AND, if we weren't wearing our school uniforms. And my hair, oh, my hair. It was all poofy at the end of the whole thing. And while we were running, uma will turn around and giggle " Cassandra, your hair" and i will give her a pathetic, exhausted expression and say "Yes, I KNOW!!"

And we finished the race to find Mr Cha holding a balloon of patrick..and with a failed attempt, trying to sound like it. I mean, urk, WHAT IS HAPPENING TO THE WORLD?!! After all the suffering, we find our DEAN with a balloon- which he would not part with tho'.. i asked him for it, but sadly, he is a very selfish man.

Ah, now i shall go wallow in self-pity. But no, I'VE GOT MY SELF-ESTEEM!! (we had a talk on self esteem BEFORE the race. Sheesh, how did they know we would've needed it so bad?)

"I am a diamond.. no a $50 note!"

2007-10-06T10:53:00.000+08:00

You Are An Intro-Extrovert!

Sometimes you're social - sometimes you're shy
You've got a bit of an Introvert / Extrovert split going on
You enjoy all sorts of situations. Parties, small groups, and alone time.
Too much of one, and you'll long for the other. You need variety!
Chances are, you've got both serious and fun friends - and they don't get along.

Are You An Extroverted or Introverted Girl?

Your Values Profile

Loyalty:

You value loyalty a fair amount.
You're loyal to your friends... to a point.
But if they cross you, you will reconsider your loyalties.
Staying true to others is important to you, but you also stay true to yourself.

Honesty:

You don't really value honesty.
You do value getting your way, no matter what.
And if a little lying is required to do that, no problem.
A few white lies never hurt anyone (at least, that's what you tell yourself!)

Generosity:

You value generosity a fair amount.
You are all about giving, as long as there's some give and take.
Supportive and kind, you don't mind helping out a friend in need.
But you know when you've given too much. You have no problem saying "no"!

Humility:

You value humility a fair amount.
You tend to be an easy going, humble person.
But occasionally your ego takes over.
You have a slight competitive streak - and the need to be the best.

Tolerance:

You value tolerance highly.
Not only do you enjoy the company of those very different from you...
You do all that you can to seek it out interesting and unique friends.
You think there are many truths in life, and you're open to many of them.

The Five Factor Values Test

2007-10-05T12:58:00.000+08:00

Howdy dowdy all!!

Exams're officially OOOOVVERRR!! wooooooo!! yea!

Had bio today, it was a breeze. It was a totally good way to end the exams.. completing a paper and actually feeling content with it, beside lit lah.

I have learnt the most valueable of valuable lessons : Don't start studying on the day before the paper. Yup. Tried studying, no,actually cramming bio yesterday, and i felt like pulling my hair off. Well, i did succeed in shoving ALMOST all of the facts and what-nots into the hollow brain of mine.. so its not that bad. Like what told me : "Be like a sponge.. ABSORB!"

Ah well, that's over and done with.. now i need to concentrate on my malay..O levels are coming up. urgh..

Oh, and i forgot to mention that my pet bird flew away *sobs* Yup.. weird as it may seem, he opened the cage HIMSELF and flew out. Here's a few pics of him before he flew..

oh.. and that's his girlfriend at the back.. who also flew away.. Yes, i noe, its sounds silly, but two birds did fly out at that poarticular day. Who knows, maybe he was flying away form her? lol..Oh, and you can clearly see the rubberband we tied to the cage.. specifically so that he wouldn't fly out. And yet, he defied all odds.. Ah well, he wanted freedom..and he got it.. lucky little tyke.

see.. i was trying to get a shot of his girlfiend.. but he kept getting in the way.

On to other pics.. Here's my artistic masterpiece' The Metal Flower'

teehehe.. i know, its beautiful.

hey, i hate to break it to you.. but its not a real rose. Yea. its just an unused pen refill and the plastic..or metal wrappings. All outta boredom during math lesson.

Here's an amusing picture..

Its the temple near our school.. witha pretty unique name...Don't mean to be disrespectful in anyway..but,

Will somebody translate that for me?

2007-09-23T18:29:00.000+08:00

Fly away

Out of the cage,
perched on the window.
His farewell he bades,
welcoming his new freedom.

I have caged a soul so free,
and for that i'll regret eternally.
But dear little bluebird,
Won't you come and visit me?

2007-09-06T13:21:00.000+08:00

"Have I told you about the opposite of tensions?" he says.

The tension of opposites?

"Life is a series of pulls back and forth. You want to do one thing, but you are bound to do something else. Something hurts you, yet you know it shouldn't. You take certain things for granted, even when you know you should never take anything for granted.

"A tension of opposites, like a pull on a rubberband. And most of us live somewhere in the middle."

"Sounds like a wrestling match, I say.

"A wrestling match." He laughs."Yes, you could describe life that way."

So which side wins, I ask?

"Which side wins?"

He smiles at me, the crinkled eyes, the crooked teeth.

"Love wins. Love always wins"

excerpted from "Tuesdays with Morrie" by Mitch Albom

A rather interesting insight. Interesting, yet undeniably true. And it takes the experienced of experienced men (and women) to tell you the most simplest of things: To love and to seek love. And i have come to realise that often, we steer away from the paths we were meant to take due to temptation. The older you get, the more mature you become. The more mature we re, the more devious we tend to get. We compare ourselves with others. We want to be 'perfect' in the eyes of everybody we meet.
We soon become skeptical of the simplest of things. It takes us a hard knock to apprehend the true meaning of life. And here we are regarding children as immature or childish, when in reality, they have the purest of mindsets.

And on to other things...

Yea, i visited the dentist. And no, its not necessary for me to 'braced'. Why? Because i don't need braces, i need jaw surgery. Yes, jaw surgery! It'll be better, albeit not compulsory. My speech'll be affected, and i feel it. The surgey will take about 2-3 years. So, the answer is obvious. If i could live with it up till now, i'm sure i can live with it forever. Besides, they'll have to cut my chin coz it'll protrude after the op. And have i told you that besides being claustrophobic and being traumatised of dentists, i have a fear of physical pain? Awkward, i know. That's the main reason why i never want to have babies- ever.

Watched Ratatouille a few days back. And i caught Evan Almighty too.
Both were equally good shows. Ratatouille, as with other Disney Pixar movies, was something out of the ordinary, which gets boring after a while. I don't know. But the storyline was great.

Oh, and i placed my tagboard at the bottom of the left-hand side 'sidebar' or whatever you call it. I just got sick of seeing it smack in the centre. Its rather inactive, and i've hardly the time to pep it up. Might do it when i feel like it. But until i'm in the mood, it'll be waiting at the bottom, below the archives.

2007-09-02T10:20:00.000+08:00

hey again!

the hols are here! Not that its gonna be much holiday-like this time, much to my dismay. I've got loads of catching up to do, esp for A maths and chem..sheesh.

I've got a dental appointment coming up next tues. And god knows, i've got a phobia of dentists.. them with the scary white masks and equipped with needle-like mechanisms and what not. I've hated them right from my first visit in P1. *frantically bites nails*. And to think, i'm gonna have to put braces. I should write a will lest i die of trauma.

Floorball last fri was awesome. We beat 3e3 to bits..4-0 to be exact.. And all with only one guy. Girl power man! In your face Clive!

I keep thinking of ** and how i hope they switch me with him so i won't have to partner up with her.

Ahh.. behold.. my masterpiece.The picture quality sucks, but it was the best i could get .Anyway... BEHOLD!!

and now.. the great artist's canvas...

Look closer and you'll realise its actually rough paper.. filled with mathematical gibberish. Alas, art assuages my mathematical boredom. And there's proof.

2007-08-28T18:07:00.000+08:00

"People think of heaven as a paradise garden, a place where
they can float on clouds and laze in rivers and mountains. But scenery without
solace is meaningless.

This is the greatest gift God can give to you: To understand
what happened in your life. To have it explained. It is the peace you've been
searching for"
Quoted an excerpt from "the Five people you meet in heaven" by Mitch Albom. Interesting actually.

2007-08-25T10:08:00.000+08:00

ELLO!!

Unlike last week, ME NO MORE EMOOO!! yay! It was then that i realise why being a teenager is hard:

1stly- the PMSes.
2ndly- Peer pressure, not that i fall for it tho' i'm just generalising.
3rdly- the fact that you're GROWING UP?! and ppl'll tend to have diff views about you differently.

Anypoo, will all that aside, i've got back my CTs and am proud to say that i've passed all of it!!- teehehe, well except for Social Studies that is.I just don't get it. Why write Essays on politics when you can just read about it in the newspaper? Geez... well, i failed by 1/2 a mark. Thank god my lit elective was there to pull up my overall marks to a pass.

Found a quote.. a very suitable one for me:

"A great man is always willing to be little."

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

2007-08-19T17:58:00.000+08:00

damn.

i wish i had taken PURE lit.
The year is gonna end and i'm still brooding over it.
Elective is just not good enough.
But, the point is blatant- i'm gonna have to stick with triple science.
it sucks.. because people will go about thinking that i'm a REAL left-brainer.
I have a flair for lit, and i'm taking bio.
WHAT WAS I THINKING??!!
i should've fought back. shouldNT've have compromised lit.
To think of it, i should've compromised PHYSICS.
Do you know how unbelievably pathetic i feel?
While they're having fun, i'm stuck with a monotonous teacher who can't even read with expression.
I'm so envious of them.

Just one more year left, and i'll be free. I just wanna get this over and done with. I get so sour thinking of it. Not to mention- emo.

2007-08-17T20:14:00.000+08:00

Olaaaa!!

Back again with yet another weekly post- if anybody there.

"HELOOOO"

*hears echoes in reply*

My blog has REALLY collected dust, at is now rusting at its ends.. geez, it must be because of my recent cyber-hibernation. But still, i shan't abandon this blog, i'll amuse meself if i have to. Gaaahh, not many'll be online anyways, not with the upscoming SAs around the corner.

So its just me, myself and the World Wide Web. aaahhh..

Nth big happened this week. Same old, same old. Got a new mp3 player, which is really faulty. Can't blame it tho'.. i'm the goofball who can't figure out how to use it ..

Nth out-of-the-bloomin'-ordinary has been happening to me lately. It's become a routine. Wake up. Go to school. Come back. Homework. Sleep. Pathetic.

Usually, i'll like dig deep into every inch of my memory to squeeze out something to write on my blog every week. This week- NOTHING. JUST PLAIN NOTHING.

So what do i do now?- post pictures lah, dUh?!

me and farah..

Denise, Farah, me, Marissa and Htet . Lousy pic quality, i know. My phone just can't take pictures of photos..

Totally spies!

me, Htet and Farah..aka

(Sam, Clover and Alex) lols

Racial harmony day!!

Shahidah, our samurai-of-a-DM

Umaaaaa!!

K then.. this its it.

buhbyee!!

2007-08-07T15:40:00.000+08:00

hey all!!

tis been a loong time since i posted- yet again.
ah well, who cares.

If you have not noticed.. i DID TRY to make an attempt to change my blogskin, but i just can get myself to live with the change. I don't know, i'm just attached to the blogskin.. Yes, i'm in LOVE with my blogskin. It just rocks.

Anypoo, i've been feeling rather emo today, dunno why. Maybe because of the humungous pimple i have on the side of my nose. Its painfully irritating- literally. Its like a volcano about to erupt anytime now. Like an alienated thing. Its a health hazard to other, seriously.

What a pimple can do to you:

- causes a
sudden 'emo-vibe' around you
-disgusts yourself when you're looking in the
mirror.

What YOUR pimple can do to others:

- makes their eyes watery at the sight of it, which results
in a
-horrible case of sore eyes.
-fear of that pimple bursting in front
of you, causing,
-anxiety, and ultimately:
-depression.

Found the lyrics to the song 'Older' by Colbie Caillat. The tune sucks tho', but the lyrics rock. So, here's part of the song:

Waited all my life for this day to come
I feel like letting go
Life goes on
Wasting no more time
So much to be done
Everything works out
So they say
Over my shoulder
It's tough getting older
Yeah, yeah

Seems like nothing is black and white anymore
Shades of gray and I feel a weight over my shoulder
It's tough getting older
I always thought that I knew where I'd want to go
Now I'm here and I find that I'm still getting colder
It's kinda tough getting older

Here before my eyes
Many roads ahead
Time for me to choose one way now
If I take a chance
What lies down the road
Feeling so confused

Turned around
On and on
On and on
Yeah, yeah'

Neat,huh?
ok.. gtg.

adios

Trapped

2007-08-06T19:58:00.000+08:00

Heart-wrenched, face- bare.
The words she seeks are no longer there.
She cries out, full of despair.
Her heart shatters, but no one cares.

Trapped in a soundproof glass,
not a soul can hear her.
Her eyes- watery, weary, downcast,
all hope has left her.

Her physical being- part of society.
Her soul- wandering yonder.
Nobody hears her gut-wrenching plea,
alas! they can't hear her!

the stares she gets;
Oh, those passing eyes of mockery.
as 'Normal' people strut her by,
she finds herself envying their uniformity.

A misfit, a nobody.
A tiny spec of dust.
oh, they're well off without her, society.
No, don't bother breaking that glass

2007-07-29T20:05:00.000+08:00

found this song.. and i like it.

http://profile.imeem.com/aDDsCx/video/0ZL25AVZ/natasha_bedingfield_soulmate/

2007-07-28T09:23:00.000+08:00

I read the book!
I read the book!
I read the book!
AHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAA!!

Finally!!
*breaks out into song* I know what happens to harry, yea yea!!

I'm so tempted to write out an obituary right now, with all the names of those who died in the book .. AND SPOIL IT.. MUAHAHAHAAA!! But.. i shall resist...

WHATADAY.. with all that haze lingering in the sky. *Sighs.. * It sucks when you can't feel the sun's rays .. wherefore art thou, my dear SUN??!

WHATADAY.. for a sch concert. thank goodness its indoors, or is it?

WHATADAY.. for math tuition

just WHATADAY

2007-07-23T17:10:00.000+08:00

Back!!.. after my (god knows how long) cyber-hibernation.

Anypoo, the latest harry potter book is out!! And yet.. i still don't have it. At first, i thought that being patient was a good thing.. but in this case, it SO TOTALLY isn't. Damn. Firstly, on saturday, a relative told me what happened to harry, which spoiled the fun. Then, a friend smsed me and told me the same thing.. which i thought was tolerable- until today. God.. most of my classmates have rand naturally, RUINED IT FOR ME. Geez.. But still.. i shall wait... yes.. wait.

well, the reason why i isolated meself from the good ol' internet was because i was busy burying myself with good books. Don't know why the sudden interest. I saw books laying around and realised that i would regret it if i hadn't picked one out and started reading.

I realised something. Mika is a hell of a good singer. He can turn some rage-filled lyrics into and upbeat song... like Grace Kelly. But it is freaky, in a way.

I shall bid thee farewell.. not before quoting some quotes i found in a book i was reading.. which by the way, is a freaking good one. Tho' its from shakespear, i wasn't actually reading shakespear.. it was quoted in the book.. i mean.. ahhhh you get the idea.

Doubt thou that the stars are fire;

Doubt thou that the sun doth move;

Doubt truth to be a liar;

But never doubt that I love

William Shakespear; Hamlet

(as quoted by Jodi Picoult in her book, My Sister's Keeper)

2007-07-14T09:33:00.000+08:00

Watched Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix.

For those who haven't read the book, you'll find it BORING and DIRECTIONLESS.

For those who have, you'll find it EQUALLY DULL and that IT DIDN'T DO THE BOOK JUSTICE.

They skipped so much impt info about Lupin, Sirius and all in the Prisoner of Azkaban that it takes quite a toll on this movie. I mean, yea, it was obvious that they were trying to follow the direction of the story as portrayed in the book, but they didn't do it PROPERLY. Like, the story revolved around Harry and his problems with Voldy- and that alone. Usually, they'll be bits and bobs about his school life, classes, QUIDDITCH(which, mind you, was not reflected in this movie).

Moreover, they failed to mention the fact that Ron and Hermoine were PREFECTS and that Ron became a SUCKY QUIDDITCH CAPTAIN. Also, when *ehem* SoMeBoDy dies, harry doesn't show as much of emotion as he was supposed to, in the book, that is.

However, what they DID include in the movie, they did portray WELL. Like the D.A practices, and their battle with Voldy and gang. You lose some, you win some I guess.

Overall, i rate this movie a measly THREE STARS.

Pity, the order of the phoenix was my favourite book. Maybe i had much too high expectations for the movie. Watch it and tell me how you found it.

2007-07-08T15:59:00.000+08:00

Watched transformers yesterday. I had expected it to be all fighting and like, well- boring. But it was nothing like that. I didn't know the robots could talk! The special effects were amazing.

Ahhhhh!! can't wait for the harry potter movie to come out!! 12th july! Got the tickets for the movie screening on its first day!! You cannot imagine how anxious I am right now. OMG.

So, i shall start a countdown.

4 more days to HP Movie 5.

13 more days to harry potter and the Deathly Hallows

soooo exciting!!!!

2007-07-05T20:36:00.000+08:00

What I did to time

by Kate Light

.

What I did to time was ball it up,

and throw it out,

when I was unhappy,years ago;

chucked it, sprained my hand

wadding it tight, waiting for an end,

the end of a long season, haul

too long to tolerate, questions

I couldn't answer, changes I couldn't make, tall

orders hovering.

Couldn't take suggestions(stubborn pride);

couldn't find solutions(ignorance, fear);

but I could hold my breath

and squeeze away a year—nuisance

years fell into faints and met their death.

Now I'd give anything to have that plethora,

that stack;

to feel its truth and call its slow pace back.

2007-07-03T17:11:00.000+08:00

Live Earth 2007

Found out about this 'Live Earth' concert on tv. And its on such an auspicious date too -> 7.7.07.

I mean like FINALLY MAN!! WHAT TOOK US SO LONG??!! yea, we've heard of global warming and all, but shouldn't we have done something when we first heard of it? Why wait until we begin to suffer its effects?

Its a good thing tho', getting the biggest stars and what-nots to perform for a good cause, finally. We may not be able to save the Earth in the end, but we might be able to prolong its life-span by a few more years, which would be worth it.

People should also do their part to help in any way possible. Its not everyday that the countries get together to save the earth- and that is saying something. The effects of the climate change is too nasty to discuss. Of course their not exaggerating, and their not telling us the full effects either, because it will pose to be a big turn off. Nobody would want to live in this earth if they found out.

After all that Mother Earth has provided for us, its time we took action. So people, i beg of you: ANSWER THE CALL.

2007-06-30T11:06:00.000+08:00

Had my first ever 'o' level component.
.. Malay Oral .

and boy was it nerve-wrecking. I really regret not communicating in malay sometimes, because it did take a nasty toll on my oral exam yesterday. Reading was a breeze. Mind you, that was onlt 10 of the possible 40 marks for oral. The bulk of the marks were for the conversation, where the examiners would ask qns, and you'll have to reply in malay. I so blew that one.

i could start out well, just that i couldn't finish most of my sentences. I'll be like "err... emmmm, ahhhh" in front of the examiners. God.

Anywho, now that it's over, all i can do is HOPE and REAALLY REALLLLLY PRAY that i managed a pass for my oral.

ahh well, guess i'd better be going. it's a long weekend, thank god. Hurray for youth day! i love being young.

2007-06-23T10:13:00.000+08:00

Hey guys.

I had a wonderful time throwing my homework aside during the past two days and watching Next, Step Up, Music and Lyrics, Shrek 3 , Click and Mr Bean's holiday, all of which were dvds i got from m'sia.

And now, the time constraint hits me. 3/4 of my math hw is done, (oh look, i'm talking math!) and i'm through with half of lit. This means, that i'll have to start refreshing my memory abt all the completed ispls, which took me whole stretch of the holidays to finish. Bad time management. Nvm, i'll learn from it.

sorry for the short posts, nth interesting has been happening lately. I don't know why i bother. Ok. So...

Bye.

2007-06-20T09:45:00.000+08:00

Back.

it's a beeee-you-tiful day, the sun is shining, birds are singing, and my pet bird is SQUAWKING. Sheesh. He never shuts up.

Anywho, done with most of the ISPLs (yea, what took me so long?!) And i'm only left with math.

I realised something. Being a teenager is hard. No, not hard in the sense that we have raging hormones etc.. But that people's perspective of you will change. Some view us as useless bums to society, and go about calling us "you teenagers..." And then there are other who go about thinking that nothing will ever be good enough for us, and that we are skeptical. Just ytd, i had tuition, and my math teacher REALLY LOVES MATHS. You can tell by the way he talks about it. And when he told me he read this book about the origins of numbers, i wanted to say "cool". But before i even opened my mouth to say it he said
"yea, i know you think those books are for nerds" and then laughed it off. Inside i was thinking "where did that come from?"
People, especially adults have some sort of social expectation of us. I mean, not all of us are care-less people who don't think about anybody but ourselves, right? So cliche..

gtg ans the 'call of nature' now. hah

buhbyee!

2007-06-16T18:41:00.000+08:00

Here's a dumb picture of my PET bird.

There you go. The REAL definition of BIRD BRAINS. Ain't he the dopey-est thing? He paces up and down his cage and chirps everytime my dad shouts at the dog. And he'll give a ear-piercing squak to wake us ALL up in the morning, until my maid gets so mad that she's reduced to banging on his cage to shut him up. In the morning she'll be like "Shut up lah, stupid bird" And he'll be like "WITTT!!". I'll be laughing my innards out. He replies to you if you talk to him.

Now, dumb pictures of the DOG.

yea yea, all cute and fluffy.

now, look what the WATERY MENACE does to him:

Not so big are ya now eh?, Mr hotshot . dumb dog digs the floor as if it was sand or something. Sheesh.

Like the song? I realised i've been changing the songs more often than i have been posting. ah well.

ooooh. Mean Girls is going to start soon. gtg. bye.

2007-06-15T11:26:00.000+08:00

I'm baaaack!.. from malaysia, that is.

The holiday was so-so. No big diff this time. Just that we got dvds of some of the movies out here.

Can you believe it? i've still got incomplete ispls.. for both maths. i really have to start practicing coz i did no such thing during the earlier parts of the hols. I don't understand a thing about A maths yet, hope the tuition will help.

ok then. guess its back to books now.

ciao.

2007-06-09T16:25:00.000+08:00

Your eyes say you're Naturally Stunning

Fresh and laid-back, you take the same approach to your makeup as you do to life: Easy does it. We'd guess you're a no-muss, no-fuss kind of gal who doesn't like to spend too much time in front of the mirror. But that doesn't mean you still don't love to look great. You just do it in your own effortless way.

Truth be told, it's your grounded nature and straightforward sensibilities that make you so attractive. When someone looks you in the eyes, they immediately sense your integrity and down-to-earth spirit. And what could be more beautiful than that?

What Do Your Eyes Reveal?

Brought to you by Tickle

aww.. that is so true, ain't it now? Well, my eyes absolutely can't be Naturally Stunning NOW, coz they are Unnaturally Red. The flu bug hasn't FLUWN away yet (nice one, marissa)

I just had a haircut.. i think i look better with my hair layered. so cool.

had this 'Leadership & Mentoring Course' held at the HTA. Yup, you guessed it, it thought us how to LEAD. Wow, amazing! Sheesh, it wasn't as profound as it sounds, basically because the food sucked. Mind you, its a course from 8.30 a.m to 6.00 p.m. And there's another one coming up on monday.

Saw this pretty butterfly on my dad's car. Deep blue with white spots on it. A work of art. The beauty of nature. Breath-taking.

2007-06-07T15:49:00.000+08:00

POTTER MANIA!!!

you have absolutely no idea how stumped I am. Harry Potter's 5th instillation is coming to theatres REAL soon! As i'm rendered speechless, i'll let the pictures do the talking.

*swoons* Can't wait. its a must-watch. Did i tell you that MY DAD WAS OFFERED TICKETS TO THE PREVIEW, WHICH HE GRACIOUSLY DECLINED??!! Said it was too late (9.45pm show on thurs @ Vivo) Oh, the heartache. He also said it was on a school night. the trauma. Nevermind. * takes a deep breath* I will watch it on the first day it comes out. Mark my words.